THERE are several reasons why parents cannot raise their children. Sometimes they do not have the resources, such as a place to call home or a regular income – and sometimes they do not have the knowledge or inclination to care for children despite having brought them into the world.
Children are resilient and despite the negative circumstances that befall them they survive. If a child facing difficult circumstances, came to live with you, how would you cope? Would you understand his/her emotional and psychological needs?

1) A mother runs off leaving her sons aged 4 and 6 with their father. While staying with you (a family friend) the 6-year-old continually wets his bed, Do you
a) threaten to beat the child if the bedwetting does not stop?
b) devise a strategy with the child to help him control and eventually stop his bedwetting?
c) tell the child you will tell his school friends if he does not stop?

2) Your brother and his wife separate and their 13-year-old son comes to stay with you. The usually outgoing adolescent mopes around during the day playing games on his phone. Do you
a) talk about his parent’s break-up and ask him whom he thinks is right?
b) knock the phone out of his hand and tell him you’re fed up with his attitude?
c) find some chores for him to do and let him know that you’re there if he wants to talk?

3) You agree to let your neighbour’s 4-year-old child stay with you while her mother works but when she leaves, the child throws herself down and cries for hours. Do you
a) do your best to distract the child with something she likes?
b) give her two hot slaps and put her to sit in the corner?
c) give the situation a couple of days before telling your neighbour you cannot cope?

4) You are stepfather to your girlfriend’s 9-year-old son who clearly does not like you. Do you
a) do your best to win him over with KFC, chocolate and other treats?
b) tell him you’re the man of the house and you don’t care what he thinks?
c) relate to him on a level he can appreciate a little at a time by sharing things he enjoys?

5) Your 17-year-old grandson says he hates his father (your son), who left when he was four. He doesn’t want to meet him but you promised to set up a meeting between them at your home. Do you
a) coax the adolescent into meeting his father so your son is not disappointed?
b) tell the child to think about the situation before fully making up his mind?
c) trick your grandson into meeting his father anyway to see what happens?

6) Your sister changes her boyfriend often, sometimes having two at a time. You can tell that her 13-year-old daughter accepts this behaviour as normal. Do you
a) tell your niece she must not follow in her mother’s footsteps?
b) tell your sister she must change her ways immediately for her daughter’s sake?
c) confide your fears to your sister and offer your support for a change in her behavior?

7) While babysitting a 7-year-old boy, he mentions during play that his older cousin touched him inappropriately. Do you
a) call the older cousin and cuss him on the phone?
b) make sure you get all the details clearly? Write them down if necessary before informing his mother and the Childcare and Protection Agency (CPA)
c) call the Police, and the CPA as soon as possible with the details you remember.
HOW DID YOU SCORE? Answers
1 (b) Bedwetting is a sign that a child may be disturbed. Scolding the child for bedwetting or trying to shame him could cause anxiety which will result in further bedwetting. Steps should be taken to support a sensible bedtime regime with the child’s assistance.
2 (c) Teenagers can be deeply affected when parents separate. It can be hard to imagine their thoughts and feelings about the situation. Knowing there is a trustworthy person they can open up to is important. Keeping them gainfully occupied also distracts them from brooding over something they cannot prevent or control.
3 (a) Separation anxiety is real for some children. They feel literally abandoned when their parents leave. Time and patience should be exercised by babysitters to help the child adjust and cope with the separation.
4 (c) The best relationships with children may take time to build, especially for a step parent. Relationships should be nurtured and monitored but never forced or fabricated.
5 (b) Teenagers need time and space to make decisions, which should be respected. They should not be forced into situations against their will by family do-gooders.
6 (c) Pointing the finger at someone’s behaviour or belittling one to one’s child is not the best way to approach a sensitive situation. Helping one to realise one’s shortcomings and offering support will produce better results.
7 (b) Sensitive situations such as suspected child abuse require clear details. Sketchy information may not be taken seriously. When disclosures are made, adults must document everything the child says, accurately, before informing parents and authorities.
Your score: 7/ 6 out of 7: You are good at understanding how trauma can affect a child’s behaviour and react appropriately to assist.
5 or less: You need to learn how to deal with children’s issues in a practical and efficient manner.
If you are concerned about the welfare of a child, call the CPA hotline on 227 0979 or write to us at childcaregy@gmail.com
A MESSAGE FROM THE CHILDCARE AND PROTECTION AGENCY,
MINISTRY OF HUMAN SERVICES AND SOCIAL SECURITY