THIS topic tends to be a difficult one. It is not easy or even practical to tell someone to simply “think positive” as there are many reasons why people have the thoughts they have. Our past experiences, future expectations, values, and the way we were raised all largely contribute to our thought processes. However, for the negative thinker, the good news is — yes, changes can be made.

Positive thinking is vital to both our mental and physical health — with a wide range of benefits for both. It is the beginning phase of a process that is not to be underestimated, as positive thoughts lead to healthy emotions and healthy emotions lead to healthy behaviours.

I want to be super clear: positive thinking does not mean that we ignore or overlook important adversities in our lives. It does not take away from efforts that need to be made for improvement, it simply makes the process seem a whole lot more manageable. It allows us a more open-minded, motivated and solution-based approach to resolution.

Positive thinking is a stress and anger-management technique which means it is a healthy coping skill on its own. Meaning, those who practise it are more likely to lead healthier lives, i.e. exercise more, consume less alcohol and illegal drugs etc. Additional studies show that practising positivity lowers blood pressure and cholesterol, increases one’s tolerance for pain and even slows ageing. It improves relationships as positive people tend to see and believe the good in not only themselves, but in others as well. It also increases both our self-esteem and self-confidence.

There are a few ways that we can increase our positive thinking. The first thing is to pay attention to our thoughts and self-talk. This is what we think or tell ourselves about ourselves or a situation. It is best to keep this as positive as possible. For example, if you do a bad job on something, make sure you think/say “I’ve done a bad job on this particular thing” rather than “I never do anything right.” Acknowledgement of mistakes is vital, but that is not the same as negativity or self-hatred. Being specific to where you went wrong as well as not labelling yourself with a bad term because of the mistake is what differentiates negativity from constructive criticism.

An important rule of thumb is to not say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to someone else. The famous Buddha once said, “We are what we think.”

There are certain types of self-deprecating thought processes that we can avoid. One, for example, is called ‘negative forecasting.’ This occurs when one makes a negative prediction about the future without any basis or evidence for it. I know we are all guilty of this at times. Another is catastrophising which means anticipating the worst or blowing a situation out of proportion based on the facts of the situation. Many of us tend to play out a scenario in our heads before it even happens. This also leads to mind-reading (another thought process) which is assigning an explanation or meaning to something without any evidence. For example, if your spouse does something, you assume they must be feeling a certain way or thinking a certain thing. Since we can never really be sure about this, it is better to avoid it in general.

You can begin by identifying and rating your thoughts from now on. Are they helpful? Are they true? Are they even important?
Then we can challenge them with questions that bring us back to the reality of the situation. Examples of these questions are:

– Do I have any evidence to think this way?
– Is this about me or the situation itself? Meaning — am I projecting anything on to this situation?
– Are my thoughts based on the facts of the situations or my assumptions about it?
– If a friend gave me the facts of this situation, would I advise them to think this way?
– Has this feared event ever happened before?

These are just a few examples of the questions that can gear your mind and thoughts back on a positive, realistic, and healthy path.

Another important piece of advice: surround yourself with good and positive influences. If there are not any around you, then you start the trend — positivity is contagious.
If you are a physical person as I am, you can follow my favourite thing to do which is writing and destroying. When I have a negative thought, I like to write it down on a piece of paper, then tear up the paper and throw it away. A lot of symbolism in that action.

Note cautiously- changing negative thoughts to positive ones will not happen overnight, but if you practise the above suggestions, it will happen. Remember that positive people are more likely to be content and successful as they turn issues into opportunities.

I recommend that everyone visualise what you want to happen, not what you do not want to happen. Expecting good things can bring good things.
Thanking you for reading. Please keep sending any topics you’d like to talk about to caitlinvieira@gmail.com
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