THERE are no real ‘bad’ parents; only adults who need to learn how to treat children properly; because children have rights and they need love and respect. It is a parental duty to enable children to reach their fullest potential. Parents can help children reach their potential by recognising their needs. Children need attention, security, encouragement, affection, understanding, direction, guidance and nurturing. Many adults fail to bring these simple but important attributes into their children’s lives and some adults end up abusing them.

Abused children usually become troubled adults and the level and type of abuse, along with the length of time over which the abuse occurred, is indicative of the impact that is left on the victim/survivor. That is, unless there is a form of intervention from a well-meaning, enlightened adult such as a neighbour, family friend or teacher, or the Childcare and Protection Agency (CPA).

Unfortunately for children, some parents are the ‘survivors’ of childhood abuse; and are still afflicted by negative aspects of their childhood. They are parents who did not grow up healthily and who did not reach their fullest potential. Parents who may have been physically or sexually abused, or felt unloved, unwanted or neglected. And although they may seem fine on the surface, and can function pretty much the same as the next person in everyday life, deep inside scars and unresolved issues may have shaped their lives.
These issues can reflect the way they behave and subsequently treat their families; they can also prevent them from understanding their parental role; thus repeating the same negative traits (with their loved ones) to which they were subjected when young. In some families, the dysfunction of child abuse continues generation after generation.
By now everyone should know what constitutes child abuse: “child abuse is any negative behaviour of a physical, sexual, psychological or emotional nature resulting in harm towards a child, or that puts a child as risk”.

Here are three types of child abuse that can be disregarded and are somewhat undetectable. DOMESTIC ABUSE: Children are harmed psychologically and emotionally when they witness domestic abuse. Even if they are not physically attacked, the mere fact that the adults they love and look up to, are engaged in an aggressive, unhealthy dispute can affect a child greatly. It might have a psychological effect on how the child views himself and how he treats women in the future. (if it’s a girl child, vice versa). If domestic abuse is a consistent part of his/her upbringing, it might even affect his/her physical and mental development. Quarrelling, fighting, swearing, shouting and constant drama create a toxic environment– one that will certainly affect a child’s outlook on life and his outcome.
DRUGS AND EXCESSIVE ALCOHOL: Children whose parents spend a lot of time ‘high’ on recreational drugs or ‘passed out’ through excessive alcohol consumption, are at risk. It is unlikely that these children receive the care, guidance, security and nurturing they need to reach their potential. These homes usually lack good role models and a stable structure, leaving very little for the child to emulate and learn from.

The child will strive despite the odds; children are resilient, but what type of characteristics will the child learn along the way and how will they shape the personality of the adult that he or she will become?
SEXUAL ABUSE: People tend to believe that child sexual abuse must involve some form of penetration but this is not true. Inviting a child to watch pornography or consistently exposing children to ‘adult’ paraphernalia is a form of child sexual abuse. Some adults get their ‘kicks’ out of sharing sexually explicit material with children. Sometimes because they have no boundaries or decency, and sometimes in the hope of luring the child into a sexual world, for which the child is far from ready and unprepared. Inciting a child to do anything or to touch anywhere that has sexual connotations is child sexual abuse. Children may be gullible; not knowing how to think or behave in situations such as these. However, it is the adult who is culpable of inciting child sexual abuse and can be charged and imprisoned for same.

These are examples (of areas of child abuse) that can be reported, investigated and even rectified, in the child’s best interest; with timely intervention and cooperation between parents, family members and the CPA. When children are neglected and abused or exposed to negative circumstances, materials and people that they should never encounter, it is time for someone to step in on their behalf. Don’t be afraid to report child abuse, do so before it escalates, do it because it’s the right thing to do; do it to break the cycle; do it for the children.

If you are concerned about the welfare of a child call the CPA hotline on 227 0979 or write to us at childcaregy@gmail.com
A MESSAGE FROM THE CHILDCARE AND PROTECTION AGENCY,
MINISTRY OF SOCIAL PROTECTION