– Should I keep to my original divorcee vow never to make the mistake of marriage again?

Dear Wayne & Tamara,
I’ve been dating the most amazing man for nearly two years. He makes me happier than I ever thought possible. I have two kids by my ex-husband, and my current boyfriend makes me question if I ever loved anyone before.I cannot picture life without this man.

We’ve talked casually about marriage in the past, but nothing serious.
The tone changed, though, in recent weeks. I think he is going to pop the question soon. I brushed off the conversation that gave me that feeling, thinking he was trying to gauge my response.

I’m not sure how to respond if he asks. That’s where I’d like some insight. Had I never married my narcissistic ex, who still is in my life because of the kids, I’d say yes in a heartbeat. There would be no doubt.

I was never a romantic or believed in the term soul mate until I met mine. But because I married who I married, I cannot trust myself to make the correct decision. My ex was a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Do I go with my gut answer of ‘Yes! A million times!’ or do I listen to my brain, tell myself fairytales don’t exist and keep to my original divorcee vow never to make the mistake of marriage again?

Amelie

Dear Amelie,
You already tried one fairytale. You thought you could kiss a frog and turn him into a prince. There is no reason to believe kissing your prince will turn him into a frog.

We couldn’t do anything in life if we had to be 100 percent sure of the results beforehand. Nobody would get anything done. We’d all be stuck at four-way stop signs afraid someone might pull out in front of us.

This man has had two years to show you who he is. That’s time enough. He is who he is. Your ex doesn’t get to convict your boyfriend, and you haven’t given us a single scrap of evidence for the prosecution to work with.
Your divorcee vow was not a rational thing, but more like an impulsive New Year’s resolution. Besides, you broke your own vow by dating.

Are you absolutely in love with this man? That’s the only question to answer. Heads are great at making excuses but only hearts know what you feel.

Wayne & Tamara