CLOSE your eyes and picture a family dinner.
Mom is in an apron; dad is at the head of the table. The napkins are linen, the children are scrubbed clean, and steam rises from the pot of calaloo cook-up. Even the dog is listening  intently to what is being said. This is where the tribe comes to transmit wisdom, embed expectations, confess, conspire, forgive, repair.

This idealised situation is as close to a regular worship service, with its litanies and lessons and blessings, as a family can get outside of a sanctuary. This is the sanctuary that mealtimes provide.

Shared family mealtimes are vital to restoring the traditional functions of a family which is essential for repairing society as a whole.

According to Miriam Weinstein, author of The Surprising Power of Family Meals, the meal is only the occasion, the only excuse for that special bonding time.

The subject is actually family — establishing, enjoying, and maintaining ties. The goal is creating and reinforcing a secure place for your loved ones in a society that can seem chaotic and awfully uninterested in human needs.”

The speed at which we live today no longer allows for calm, slow eating habits. Most people work long hours; most moms are out working. Single parents are struggling to do everything that a couple would normally do. There are lots of fast-food opportunities, and eating out is on the increase. ‘Chinese’, KFC or Pizza Hut are all some children know, and now more than ever, society is in shambles.

There are increased instances of drug abuse, delinquency, and obesity; there is an upsurge in crime and school dropouts, and an overall breakdown of the moral fiber of society.

We see it in the news every day.

The benefits of shared mealtimes are more vital to society than even society is aware of. These include:

Healthier eating habits
According to a survey conducted by the University of Minnesota that appears in the August 2004 issue of The Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine, frequent family meals are related to better nutritional intake, and a decreased risk for unhealthy weight control practices and substance abuse.

A Harvard study published in the March 2000 issue of Archives of Family Medicine shows that eating dinner together as a family most or all days of the week was associated with healthier eating habits.

The study shows that families eating meals together “every day” or “almost every day” generally consumes higher amounts of important nutrients such as calcium, fiber, iron, vitamins B6 and B12, C and E, and consumes less overall fat, compared to families who “never” or “only sometimes” eat meals together.

Another University of Minnesota study published in the Journal of the American Dietetic Association found that children who eat family meals consume more fruits, vegetables and fewer snack-foods than children who eat separately from their families.

Enhanced learning experience
Younger children benefit from being exposed to and included in older sibling and adult conversations. The family meal represents family organization and structure, helping the youngster become familiar with these ideas and feel included.

A University of Illinois study of seven to 11-year-old children found that children who did well in school and on achievement tests regularly ate meals with their families.

And another study conducted at Harvard’s Graduate School of Education found that young children who regularly participated in family meals had an increased vocabulary. Increased vocabulary helps with reading skills.

Positive thinking and decreased teen substance abuse
More than a decade of research at The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University has consistently found that the more often children have dinner with their parents, the less likely they are to smoke, drink or use drugs.

Simply put, the benefits of family mealtimes go far beyond the actual food on the table. Emotional wellbeing and family satisfaction increase by eating together. In fact, it’s the experts in adolescent development who wax most emphatic about the value of family meals, for it’s in the teenage years that this daily investment pays some of its biggest dividends.

Studies show that the more often families eat together, the less likely children are to smoke, drink, do drugs, get depressed, develop eating disorders and consider suicide, and the more likely they are to do well in school, delay having sex, eat their vegetables, learn big words and know which fork to use.

“If it were just about food, we would squirt it into their mouths with a tube,” says Robin Fox, an anthropologist who teaches at Rutgers University in New Jersey, about the mysterious way that family dinner engraves our souls.

“A meal is about civilizing children,” Fox said. “It’s about teaching them to be a member of their culture.”

Strengthen family ties
There is something about a shared meal — not some holiday blowout, not once-in-a-while but regularly, reliably — that anchors a family, even on nights when the food is fast and the talk cheap, and everyone has someplace else they’d rather be. And on those evenings when the mood is right and the family lingers, caught up in an idea or an argument explored in a shared safe place where no one is stupid or shy or ashamed, you get a glimpse of the power of this habit, and why social scientists say such communion acts as a kind of vaccine, protecting children from all manner of harm.

Beyond promoting balance and variety in children’s diets, meals together send the message that citizenship in a family entails certain standards beyond individual whims. This is where a family builds its identity and culture. Legends are passed down, jokes rendered, and eventually, the wider world examined through the lens of a family’s values. In addition, younger children pick up vocabulary and a sense of how conversation is structured. They hear how a problem is solved, learn to listen to other people’s concerns, and respect their tastes. A better citizen in the family means a better citizen in society.

Simple things that can help you connect as a family include: Turning off the television during mealtimes; being flexible about the time of family meals; planning ahead, taking into account schedules; being creative; planning picnics in the park or eating out together or sharing responsibilities of making the meal.

The cards are on the table: Eating meals together keeps the doors of communication open. It’s the perfect time and place to reconnect, and to show your children that they are your priority.

Although people understand the importance of family life today, the major issue is that the number of family units which are happy with each other is decreasing all around the globe.

This problem is not related to any particular nation or people from any one culture. The whole world is going through this problem these days. People are suffering from different psychological disorders of high intensity, because they do not get the much required love, attention and affection which come so easily with the stable family unit. If we want to reduce such problems from our world today, we need to understand the practical importance of the family unit.

We need the family ties today more than ever. We need to bring back meal times.

Ask yourselves this: What is dinnertime like in my home? Is it convenient fo
r family members to heat up their own meal in the microwave at different times and retreat to their own corners of the house?

For many families, eating dinner together has become a lost art—but it proves to be a simple, effective way to reduce the risk of youth substance abuse and to raise healthier children who will contribute to a healthier society.

Before family dinners go the way of the dinosaur, isn’t it in our best interest to preserve family mealtimes?