Adam Smith said: “Though our brother is upon the rack, as long as we ourselves are at our ease, our senses will never inform us of what he suffers.” But, Smith said, when we use our imagination to put ourselves in his place, his agonies are brought home to us, and we understand his feelings. But some people lack this capacity for empathy. Instead, they use guilt and demands to get what they want. They admit no flaws in themselves. When those tactics don’t work, they amass an army against the ones they want to control.

You have physical proof in a letter and an e-mail what these two are up to. Calling you “overly sensitive” is a non-responsive answer. Contacting your parents is pure blackmail. Even your baby has a handle on the situation.

When you spoil a child, what do you end up with? A spoiled adult. If you let your husband’s parents treat you badly, what will you end up with? In-laws who treat you badly. Most problems can be solved by applying the sound principles of dog training. Good behaviour gets rewarded, bad behaviour does not.

Get a copy of Susan Forward’s book, ‘Emotional Blackmail’. Seeing your in-laws’ tactics in print will give you both courage and methods for handling people who, as Adam Smith said, lack the imagination to understand the feelings of others.