SIX WEEKS ago, my daughter got engaged. My husband and I never got to know her fiancé well, because she dated him while attending college in a different Relationship Advice – This Week’s Columntown. He seemed nice and she loved him, so we believed in our daughter’s judgment. Now I am not sure anymore. Here’s the thing. She will be graduating next month, which is what brought on the proposal. They will be married at his church in the town where he grew up, a two-hour drive from where we live.

Since reception venues need to be close by, my oldest daughter, the bride-to-be, and I spent two weekends driving up to look at possible halls. After passing our information on to her fiancé, he decided we were looking at places that cost too much. He wanted to look for himself.

He made appointments at two venues: A steakhouse and a country club. He told my daughter from day one she could have whatever she wanted, as long as it was within the budget they agreed upon. When comparing the two places, my daughter and I decided the country club was a better choice for the money and the occasion, and it is within budget.

But her fiancé set up a slide show of their wedding day and honeymoon showcasing only the steakhouse. He constantly talks about how are they going to afford the country club. If he wants her to have what she wants, why does he keep insisting the country club costs too much when the steakhouse costs more.

This stress is getting the better of my daughter and myself. Traditionally, this is the bride’s job, and her fiancé seems to be taking control and making the whole experience a nightmare.