I have been married to my husband for 19 years. We met in high school and had a child right at graduation. After high school and some college we decided to marry. I really didn’t want to marry him nor Relationship Advice – This Week’s Columndid I want to continue the relationship with premarital sex. I wanted my freedom to date people and then see if he was right for me. He didn’t want to break up and he didn’t want me to see other people, so I decided to stay, thinking he must really love me. I couldn’t see my way out. I told him, let’s get married or it’s over. I didn’t think he would marry me because he said he wasn’t ready, but weeks after I broke it off he came back and agreed. So we were married.

I felt apprehensive about getting married, but I thought it was just cold feet. At the time I thought marriage would work out the kinks in our relationship, and the love we had for each other would overrule anything. Well, 19 years and two more children later I am utterly miserable.

He is now someone I do not like, and I don’t think he likes me that much either, but he doesn’t want to get a divorce. I do but I am afraid. Our oldest daughter moved out and we have two teenagers at home. Raising children together has been the best thing we’ve done. It’s about the only thing we can agree on because everything else is a tug of war. I want out.

But with the shaky economy and thoughts of being a single parent, I don’t know if this would be the best time. Plus, if he doesn’t agree to the divorce, it will be expensive and I will have to prove irreconcilable differences. At times I feel like I am pushing a man away from loving me. I am so confused.