The Parrot is not in a very pleasant mood. That’s putting it mildly or diplomatically as some would say. In other words, ah vex; real vex; blue vex. My vexation has to do with the tampering with my formula which explains and calculates the Mayor’s inefficiency. In my last squawk, patience and time were taken to painstakingly and meticulously describe the concept and components of the formula. Lo and behold, the way it was intended to be presented vastly differs from how it actually was.

This paper changed my formula as evident in last Monday’s edition. Printer’s devil was cited as the reason. Well, since there seems to be a devil in almost everything, I suppose it’s accepted. The intention is not to lament the point of the Mayor’s inefficiency. Many who read the last squawk sent me many e-squawks pointing out that no formula is needed to explain and compute the man’s lack of efficiency. His deficiency in efficiency is as clear as the sky now which is devoid of rain clouds.

Can’t argue with that. Everyday you learn. However, the formula must be presented in its right form. Some were a bit confused given the way the printer’s devil presented it last time. As a reminder, here it is: HIE = GP x (Q x H)2.
E

HIE is Hammie’s Inefficiency; GP is the sum total of all garbage piles; Q is the summation of the total weight of all the garbage piles; H is the average height of all the piles. The sum product of Q x H is squared since the piling up of garbage is a recurring one. The sum product of the numerator is divided by the denominator, E, which is constant and represents Hammie’s effort. This constant is fixed at 0. After applying this formula you would be amazed, if you aren’t already, at the answer. So much for that. The garbage is being picked up as we squawk. Thanks to Uncle Bharrat and Uncle Ashni.

However, the salient point herein is that no formula should be messed with. Even the devil should not mess with formulas. Messing with them has dire consequences. A simple recollection of what was intended at City Hall in 1994 and what has actually happened exemplifies such consequences of messing with a formula. Following the results of Local Government in 1994, the elected agreed upon a rotational Mayorship. Hammie served first, since his GGG got the highest amount of votes for the three Parties. The PNC served second, through Ranwell Jordon, since they got the second highest number of votes.

Great. Things went well; at least up to then. When it was time for the PPP to be entrusted with the Mayorship, the two other Parties concocted and prevented Aunty “Fireball” Philo from becoming Mayor. Since then it has been Hammie, Hammie and more Hammie. As a result, it’s chaos, inefficiency, garbage and more garbage. You see, the GGG and the PNC tampered with the agreed formula for the Mayorship. Had they not, then Hammie would not have been there, since given the two year agreed rotation, now, he nor his GGG, which no longer exists, would have been in the Mayor’s chair; another person would have. Do the maths.

Messing with that formula led to a now messy City. The consequences have been expounded. Many would have read the story of Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Mr. Hyde, which symbolises evil according to the story, was as a result of a formula that Dr Jekyll messed with by consumption. The consequences are an integral part of that story. The late Albert Einstein created a formula, E=MC2. Basically, it translates into energy (E) being equal to the mass (M) of a substance times the speed of light (C) squared. Physicists would know that even with a very small amount of a particular substance, the energy which can be created, as explained in the formula, can be enormous.

Nuclear energy works on this principle. The principle of this formula has been used to create weapons of mass destruction as in the case of atomic bombs which if, God forbid, is used recklessly, can annihilate all living organisms on the planet. The world has seen some of the consequences of such bombs following the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in Japan during World War 11. It’s reported that Einstein expressed regret at inventing the formula when he saw how it was misused to bring harm to the human race. They messed with his formula. Some believe that life on earth is at the mercy of someone who has access to such a bomb! Whew!!

With these scary possibilities for the future and with what has actually happened, the Parrot would like to remind and warn people not to mess with a formula. Take note Hammie. Take note Mr. Devil. Messing leads to mess; confusion too. Right Hammie? Squawk! Squawk!