Kind Barber
A priest walked into a barber shop in Washington, D.C. After he got his haircut, he asked how much it would be. The barber said, “No charge. I consider it a service to the Lord.” The next morning, the barber came to work and there were 12 prayer books and a thank you note from the priest in front of the door.Later that day, a police officer came in and got his hair cut. He then asked how much it was. The barber said, “No charge. I consider it a service to the community.” The next morning, he came to work and there were a dozen donuts and a thank you note from the police officer.

Then, a Senator came in and got a haircut. When he was done he asked how much it was. The barber said, “No charge. I consider it a service to the country.” The next morning, the barber came to work and there were 12 Senators in front of the door.

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Cannibal Restaurant
A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant opened by a fellow cannibal.
Feeling somewhat hungry he sat down and looked over the menu…
Broiled Missionary: $10.00
Fried Explorer: $15.00
Baked Politician: $100.00.

The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, “Why such a price difference for the politician?”
The cook replied “Have you ever tried to clean one of them?”
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Assassins
Two assassins are hired to kill a dictator in South America. They follow his every move for months, and find out that every day at noon he goes outside and does his stretching exercises.
So the assassins set up shop right across the street, get all of their sights set, load the guns and have everything ready to go.

Noon comes, no dictator… 10 minutes longer… no dictator.

One assassin turns to the other and says, “Gee, I hope nothing happened to him.”
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Saudi Ambassador
The Saudi Ambassador to the UN has just finished giving a speech, and walks out into the lobby where he meets President Bush. They shake hands and as they walk the Saudi says, “You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America.”
President Bush says “Well your Excellency, anything I can do to help, I will do.”

The Saudi whispers “My son watches this show ‘Star Trek’ and in it there are Russians, Blacks and Asians, but never any Arabs. He is very upset. He doesn’t understand why there are never any Arabs in Star Trek.”
President Bush laughs and leans toward the Saudi and whispers back, “It’s because it takes place in the future….”