Domestic violence survivor and GBV advocate is inspiring other women to leave and highlighting support systems that can make all the difference

FOR 17 years, Bibi Ahamad says her marriage was marked by domestic violence, and for almost two decades she lived under the shadow of physical, verbal, emotional, psychological, and financial abuse. Today, at 57, Bibi speaks openly about the trauma she endured, working as an activist for women’s rights and against gender-based and domestic violence. Speaking to the Pepperpot Magazine this week, Bibi says she will continue to share her story, hoping to inspire other women to leave abusive relationships. And while rebuilding is hard, Bibi says there are more resources today to help survivors than ever before, and with a larger community and support base, she is encouraging other women to take the first step.
Bibi’s story is well known, having been told on many platforms before, but she says she will continue sharing it, hoping to inspire other women. Bibi’s journey of abuse lasted for 17 years, during which she says she endured all forms of abuse, sharing, “I have had all forms of abuse—physical, sexual, verbal, emotional, psychological, financial. I went through it all for a number of years. Even while I was pregnant, I was physically and verbally abused numerous times.” Throughout those years, Bibi says she tried to repair her marriage, adding, “I tried everything—family counselling, individual counselling. That did not work.”
Like many women, Bibi wanted to save her marriage, but the real turning point came when she realised the impact the abuse was having on her daughter. “I had a young child at that time living in the home with the abuser, who is her father. I realised not only I was being affected by the forms of abuse, but at times it was affecting her,” she shared. While Bibi wanted to leave the marriage, her daughter made the decision much harder. “I could not just make a rash decision because I had to think of my daughter, how it would impact her and emotionally how this would affect her.”

One of the major hurdles Bibi encountered in leaving was the stigma. Coming from a traditional Guyanese background more than 25 years ago, the stigma of a child growing up without her father was a lot more prominent than it is today. That stigma, Bibi says, was one of the leading reasons she stayed, and is still one of the leading reasons other women stay today. Citing an incident where she reported her husband and eventually dropped the case, Bibi shared, “The stigma at that time was hard for her to have a father who is in prison. How is he going to support her? So I dropped the case.”
The weight of the abuse would eventually become too much to bear just a few years later, however. Motivated by her love for her daughter, Bibi later left the marriage in what she described as a moment of bravery and self-assurance she had not had in years. “Eventually, I could not take it anymore—my daughter was scared,” she added. “One morning I got up and I said to my husband, listen, let me tell you something—you are not coming back here. Take your clothes and go. I mean that, and I am serious. I do not know how I got that courage that morning to do it. I told God that I did.” That moment of bravery would be the last time Bibi or her daughter endured trauma at the hands of her husband, but the rebuilding process is what she says is the part not many women talk about.
While the main aim in domestic violence cases is to escape, the rebuilding is one area that Bibi says should be talked about more. As she added, “Rebuilding is not easy. You need support; survivors need emotional support. You need that because you cannot cope on your own.” Recounting her journey, Bibi said getting over the emotional and psychological trauma was the hardest hurdle. She described the time following her leaving as filled with emotional turmoil and traumatic moments, questions, and self-doubt. “Emotional support is important. Even though I would try on my own, there are times when it pops back up in my head. Some people can become depressed; some can even turn to alcohol or drugs,” she added. While counselling, emotional support, and family backing helped carve a new path, Bibi says forgiveness is the true key to moving forward. “The biggest part of the healing is forgiveness. You have to forgive your perpetrator; unless you do that forgiveness, you’re not moving on. You might move on physically, but emotionally you’re stuck.”
While stories like Bibi’s are a stark reminder of the work still needed to end domestic violence, her work today is a glimmer of hope to women currently facing a similar situation. As Bibi explained, the support services for survivors of domestic violence have seen impressive development in recent years. “In Guyana here, at the time when I left my abusive relationship, we had no system in place to help a person like me. I could not report my abuse because there was no 9-1-4 number, or the iMatter app, for example. You can chat, you can get help, and you can read up about your rights.” She added, “The support system that the ministry has in place now—there was nothing like that in place before. I can testify to that.”
Today, Bibi is the co-founder of WeCare Guyana, an organisation focused on helping victims of violence, including women, children, and people with disabilities. With better access to the national 914 emergency hotline, the iMatter safety app, shelters and temporary housing options, police gender-based violence units, and more advocates than ever, Guyana is moving steadily forward in ending domestic violence. Reiterating the importance of continued support, compassion, and motivation, Bibi is appealing to those facing domestic or gender-based violence to leave, ensuring them that rebuilding and regaining a life after abuse is possible. “Get out of the relationship. Seek help. You can seek help through WeCare Guyana, the Ministry of Human Services—which I highly recommend because they have more systems in place to help survivors. Do not stay. Do not become a statistic.”