FAILURE often carries with it a negative connotation, as from a young age, many of us are conditioned to view failure as something to be avoided at all costs—a mark of incompetence, lack of effort, or an indication that we are simply not good enough. However, positively reframing failure can lead to significant personal growth and resilience and reshape the way we view success.

I think it is important to understand why so many view failure negatively in the first place. As it often does, it begins with emotions and our misinterpretation of them. Failure is typically associated with shame and disappointment, often tied to our identity and self-worth, so when we fail, it feels like a personal failure, not just an external event. Additionally, society often highlights success stories while glossing over the struggles and setbacks behind those successes.

Everyone thinks that only success is worth celebrating, but we gain just as much from failing, and no one knows this better than the science community. Scientists view ‘failure’ as beneficial because it is an essential part of the process of discovery, learning, and innovation. Every single thing in our lives has been improved by trial and error, as failure is often the catalyst for new discoveries.

I very often say that the most important quality that anyone can possess is self-awareness. There can be no self-awareness where there has never been a failure, as with failure comes a clear understanding of strengths and weaknesses. Thinking about it, the most valuable personal qualities can only be derived from failure—self-awareness, humility, patience, and adaptability.

Further, simply having these qualities is not enough. The only way you can be sure you possess them occurs when it’s time to pick yourself up and try again. The most confident know that failure is not a reflection of their abilities but one of their perseverance.

One of the most powerful ways to reframe failure is to view it as a learning opportunity. Every failure comes with valuable lessons—whether it’s about your own abilities, the approach you used, or the factors outside of your control that you may need to adjust for in the future.

Failure can be a motivator for innovation. When we encounter setbacks, we are forced to think creatively, outside of the box, to find new solutions. If something doesn’t work, it may be an indication that a new approach is needed. I often think of the invention of Post-it notes when my projects take a turn. Post-its were accidentally invented by a chemist, Spencer Silver, when he was asked to invent the strongest adhesive. He ended up achieving the opposite—the least adhesive—and his ‘failure’ transformed the paper industry.

Shift your language. They say to be careful what you say because you are listening. Many will say, “I failed; I’m not good enough; this can never happen again.” You would be absolutely amazed at what would instead happen if that became, “I tried something new, and it didn’t work. What can I learn from this experience that will help me next time?” This change would bring focus on the action and the opportunity to improve rather than on the negative judgement of yourself.

I am often asked how to best deal with negative feelings when failure inevitably comes along, and my advice has never wavered. Those who tend to take failure the hardest are those whose self-worth is closely linked to their achievements; their failures feel like personal attacks on who they are. There needs to be a separation of our overall self-worth from our external achievements, and instead link it to our internal values such as kindness and empathy.

There is a secret to not being bothered by failure at all, and I’m going to share it with you. It’s to focus on your efforts more than the results. If you are simply proud of consistent, progressive steps, regardless of the outcome, you can never be disappointed. We’ve been conditioned to focus solely on the end result—getting the promotion, finishing the project, or achieving the perfect outcome. While results are important, they don’t reflect the growth and learning that happen along the way. Results are influenced by so many factors, some of which are beyond our control (like timing, external circumstances, or other people’s actions). Effort, however, is completely within your control. It promotes consistency and reduces anxiety, as this view encourages one to show up and put in the work each day. Even if things don’t go as planned, you will know that you gave it your all and that your own effort fuels the desire to keep going, even when results are not immediately visible. It further directly enhances self-worth as your value isn’t contingent on a specific outcome; it’s about showing up, working hard, and continuously growing.

Example in Action:
Let’s say you want to improve your public speaking skills. If you focus solely on the end result—delivering a flawless speech—you might feel discouraged by every mistake or imperfection during your practice sessions. However, if you focus on the effort of practising regularly, refining your skills, and making gradual improvements, you’ll appreciate the progress you’re making and be more motivated to keep going, even if the end result isn’t perfect.

If everything were easy and came without struggle, success would feel less meaningful. It is the challenges we face and the failures we experience that make the victories even sweeter. Failure’s biggest silver lining for me is the collaboration it promotes. When something doesn’t go my way, I very often open the door to collective problem-solving, bringing together those in my life with different areas of expertise that I believe can help me tackle the problems. The advice I ask for and receive fosters a safe and nurturing environment, strengthening my social circle.

As John Maxwell said, “Fail forward.”
If we truly think about it, failure is simply a process of elimination. We use this daily as a strategic way of coming to a solution and winning. ‘Failure’ is literally just finding different outcomes. In many ways, it offers the opportunity to grow in ways that success alone cannot. You learn about your capabilities, your limits, and what you truly want. Each time provides an opportunity to refine techniques, ask new questions, and approach problems from a different angle and mindset. It isn’t the opposite of success; it’s simply a part of it.