I spent some time reflecting on what I would like 2024 to be – or what I can at least control. I figured out in the past few years that there is a key to a happy and successful life. Why people struggle to find it is because they assume the key are those baked-in ideas often imbedded in us from our family, friends, beliefs and community.

Those get married and have children by a certain age, prioritising a career and money or achieving a certain societal position.

The key doesn’t open every lock. It is not a one-size-fits-all. The key to a happy and successful life is to find a personal sense of purpose; this looks different for everyone. Some people find their purpose through families, careers or dedicating their life to solitude and service; all very different life paths but if you find the one that gives you purpose, you will lead a happy and satisfying life.

The one thing that all these paths have in common is to find something that outlives you; something that will have long-lasting, positive impacts on those closest to you or society in general.
This made me truly reflect on my purpose. I already know that it’s not what society tells me it should be, and it’s not a path that some of my friends and family traditionally took. What many people crave, I don’t, and what I desire, they don’t. The first step to being content is to accept that this is not only okay, it is normal. No one or even five things can make the entire world happy.

A sense of personal purpose is unique and is not a short or even long-term goal; it is an ongoing way of life and path where there isn’t ever an end until your ultimate end. It’s your why. Why are you here? It will forever guide, sustain and stabilize you. It’s based on our personal set of experience, will and talent. A good understanding of purpose comes from a Japanese theory known as Ikigai. This way of life acknowledges that a sense of purpose and working towards it can be draining; therefore, it is supposed to blend what interests you, your skill set, what is needed in the world and what brings true joy. Therefore, the most successful purpose is mixed with passion as well as practical considerations.

Some people are lucky enough that it is already embedded in their work. For example, as a psychologist, I was able to ease suffering while providing an uncommon service and travel. It was satisfying in so many ways. Others may not be so lucky and their familial, work and social responsibilities result in abandoning passion, joy and purpose.

If you’re in that category where life just feels like a series of compromises, do not worry; I’m going to discuss some ways where your true passion can be found no matter what is working against you.

After accepting “non-traditional” wants, needs and purpose, the step is to identify what you truly care about. What do you get riled up about? What keeps you up at night? What matters the most to you? What would you change if you had no barriers? Imagine your version of your best possible self. What are you doing?

After you have reflected and truly answered these questions, honestly reflect on your strengths and talents as well. While you can absolutely improve on any wanted skill, your passion is supposed to come a little more naturally so that it is invigorating rather than draining.

If you do not know the answers to these questions, try volunteering, as this gives you an avenue to so many different causes, individuals and situations. Also, spend more time with people who inspire and motivate you. Look beyond your regular circle and reach out to people you do or have admired. Jim Roth once said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

If you have pain, turn it into active purpose. We all have to overcome challenges in life, but how many of us allow these to shape us into better human beings? Sometimes, your purpose and what you are passionate about comes from helping individuals through what you have gone through. For example, I have known people who have lost loved ones to drunk drivers and, through true tragedy, have dedicated their lives to not only helping other families in the same situation but also advocating for all, from seatbelt laws to the installation of traffic lights. How you transform your pain into purpose is up to you.

Start reading! I promise you that this does wonders. I wasn’t a big reader until I entered middle adulthood. However, I became an avid reader when I realised how much it expanded my knowledge, perspective, critical thinking and idea bank. I am not a big reader of fiction, but I imagine that could even be as if not more beneficial than self-help or biographies (my preferred choice) as it allows us to enter different times and cultures – different worlds, really. How could you not learn and discover from that?

Practice self-care. I preach this all the time, and the benefits are self-explanatory, but in this specific case, it is beneficial because our creative juices flow the most when we are relaxed. Have you ever noticed that some of your best ideas come when you’re in the shower?

Practice self-acceptance. This is another one that typically causes eyes to roll because it seems obvious or repetitive. However, there are truly good reasons for this one as well. If you can accept what you are good at, you are one step closer to finding your purpose. If you accept what you are flawed at, you will be kinder to yourself and overcome setbacks more easily. Additionally, and importantly, you cannot help others if you are constantly battling with yourself.

Finally, develop and maintain a growth mindset. This automatically allows you to constantly grow as a person, accept constructive criticism, and persevere during setbacks while viewing them as opportunities.

I hope you all spend 2024 and beyond finding your personal and ultimate purpose and dedicating your life to it.