MARIA held the silver chain in her hand, its pendant, the birthstone of Pisces, and as she looked at the amethyst gem, regrets glinted in her light brown eyes.

“It’s been such a long time,” she mused, “I wonder where you must be today and what you have become.”

The chain had been a birthday gift from her best friend, the friend she had stood by when he needed her, the friend with whom she had shared the same literary passions and dreams.

They were like one, as Pisceans sharing the same birthstone, but people change, desires change and she broke his heart when she couldn’t return the love he felt for her.

“He was such a nice person, gentle and lovable,” she said quietly, “But I couldn’t love him, not with the kind of passion of being in love.”

She put the pendant back in its velvet box that had sat at the back of her old desk drawer, forgotten.

They had become friends since the beginning of high school. That patterned changes in their lives, creating a special bond.

She was fair, petite, and shy, a pretty girl with her long hair tied in plaits, portraying the look of pure innocence that attracted the older boys who tried to woo her. He was fairer with trim, curly hair, smooth skin, and a neat outlook, something different from the normal male personality that attracted ridicule and taunts from the boys.

He wasn’t athletic. He ran like a girl, they said. He couldn’t play cricket or football and no one wanted him on their team, so he sat alone in class during break periods, reading. His classmates did not care much for his silent suffering, a brave soul trying to be normal.

But it touched her heart and somehow she felt his pain, for she was closer to him, sitting alone in class too, reading, though for a different reason. She was scared of the close attention of the senior boys, a few who had broken up with their girlfriends for her, one of the girls being her cousin.

She was not quite ready for it, having just crossed the threshold into adolescence and not wanting to fall prey to infatuation.

The two of them had sat at their desks, reading, not saying much, a boy and girl with pleasant countenances, who were excellent arts students, loved by their teachers.
One day he walked over to her desk and asked her nervously, “What are you reading?”

She had looked up and smiled, for it was the sixth time she had been asked that question for the morning. Now she felt she could answer, “Stephen King – The Pet Cemetery.”

“I’m reading James Patterson,” He said

“I read his books too and anything else I can get my hands on.”

He had laughed and that day was the beginning of a unique friendship, a pretty girl, boys were eager to befriend, and a boy with a different personality.

Maria looked at the books on the shelves, neatly arranged, her priceless collection of literature, history, and fiction and she smiled as fond memories of her friend found their way into her thoughts, lost they had been through the ravines of time. The one path they had walked had separated in two and their dreams and passions sat on the shelves among the books, waiting.

She had not been home for a long time, having married and moved away, becoming a mother, a social worker, and a sales representative, and the girlhood dreams she had nurtured to become a lawyer, became lost somewhere, fate changing the course of her life.

She took down a book of poems he had given her as a valentine’s gift and as she flicked through, a worn piece of paper fell from between the pages – it was the shape of a heart with their names printed – ‘Maria & Chris – Friends forever’.

It was a friendship the boys in school couldn’t understand for he did not have the looks and characteristics of a typical male and she was spending her time with him on lunch dates and movies.

Only Maria knew it was not an attraction where the heart speaks of love nor the passion of a kiss. It was holding his hand to stop the taunts and the ridicule as he fought an inner battle to find a foothold in a man’s world.

She had begun to understand the feelings of infatuation and love, from those who paid court to her, as the years went by, but she did not leave her friend, protecting his image for all five years of high school. Maria replaced the book on the shelf and exited her old room for some fresh air in the garden outside. As she sat on the swing, she thought, “I couldn’t believe I did that, no wonder it was so hard for him to move on.”

Maybe it would have been easier if she had, had a boyfriend and left him to fight his own battles.

“But, maybe,” she thought, “It was meant to happen that way.”

Her heart found new desires with charming young men for her as a woman that would become a part of her life as she began dating and the further down that path, she walked, the farther back he was left, standing alone.

She had thought he would have found a life for himself as he began to work and interact with people of the outside world but what she did not know was that though he became more confident in himself as a guy, she had become his world and he never wanted her to leave. For Maria, the most difficult thing she had to do in her life was to explain to him that she did not share such close feelings. He was, to her, just a special friend.

The pain in his eyes that day, which he tried to hide, left her with a sense of guilt and she did not see him again for a little while until they ran into each other at a book fair. He said he was with two beautiful girls from the office where he worked and it pleased her heart, easing the guilt from her mind that he was getting somewhere with his life.

Two months later, on her birthday, he brought her the amethyst pendant that he told her he hoped she would keep forever to remember him.

“Oh no,” Maria exclaimed and ran upstairs to her room. She opened the desk drawer and took out the pendant.

“I left it here when I got married and moved away.”

She clasped the chain around her neck and whispered, cross at herself, “How could I have forgotten?”

She lay in bed that night, sleepless for a long time, thinking of the friend and the husband, and how different they were. Her friend had not a masculine outlook, but his love for her was genuine. He appreciated her as a woman and supported her ambition and desires, a tolerant and selfless character.

Maria sighed deeply and turned her face to the pillow, hoping she could have a peaceful night’s sleep.

She had given up her best friend for the one her heart had spoken to and in whom she had seen a beautiful life, but not long after marriage, she discovered he had worn a false face. He was not what he had made her believe and too late, she had found herself sharing her life with someone selfish and arrogant, who did not value her worth and who cared not for her desires and ambition, but he called it love.

She had felt betrayed and the beautiful life she believed in, she never had. But it had been her choice, and she had to find her little joys and happiness.

Maria’s eyes closed in sleep, the last thought on her mind, “I wonder if my friend is happy, if he found the right one to share his life with?”