‘You can’t pour from an empty cup’

CUP analogies and personifications have always interested me. From bible stories to Guyanese proverbs—there’s a thing or two to learn from them. One famous analogy is that we shouldn’t be pouring from empty cups or glasses. In essence, this simply means that we shouldn’t be giving things to people if we don’t have it to give. It’s as simple as that. While that specific saying means you can’t take care of others or tend to their needs—it isn’t always used in that context. It can be related to things that are intangible, such as love, attention or forgiveness. Or, it can even be tangible, such as money or gifts. For whatever reason, if you cannot give something to someone in an instance because you feel inadequate or you don’t have it within you to share/give—then know that’s okay. How do you expect to give things that you don’t have?

Putting yourself first isn’t always selfish. In fact, you shouldn’t feel guilty or made to feel that way for doing so. Taking care of yourself or “filling up your cup first” allows you to rejuvenate and improve yourself so that you can ultimately do better and be better to or for other people. You can also think of yourself as a car that needs fuel. If you leave a car to be driven all the time without adding fuel to it, what do you expect will happen? To refuel yourself, you need to take care of yourself. That can happen in the form of self-care routines and activities. I’m constantly writing articles on self-care because as a young adult, it’s important that we understand why we should take care of ourselves. In this instance, we need to understand why we should take care of one’s self before we can tend to others. The lack of self-care leads to fast burnout.

Many of us have people that depend on us daily—whether it be workmates, children or even spouses. The sad reality is that you can’t fully and effectively be the best parents your children needs if you aren’t the best version of yourself. You can’t help reduce the workload at work by working effectively to help your workmates if you aren’t the best version of yourself. You can’t be the best lover to your husband if you aren’t the best version of yourself. It all starts with you. I urge you all to start doing “cup checks” frequently. Do check-ins with yourself often to find out how empty your “cup”. If you notice it’s a bit empty (you don’t have much within you to give)—then learn to say NO. You should find techno that works for you and frequently, you do this self-introspection. You should also try to engage in self-care activities before you feel prevention is always better than a cure after all. Learn to fill your own cup up before pouring into others—it is essential to maintaining mental and physical wellness.

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