THE many attributes, mannerisms and behaviours children learn from their parents or carers are incredible. Although it sounds cliché, parents are a child’s first teachers. Did you know that a baby’s brain acquires the ability for early learning during the third trimester (last stage of pregnancy)? Babies are pre-programmed to learn before they are born. They may look tiny and helpless, but from the moment of birth, babies are constantly picking up information.

Opportunities to impart positive attributes will arise when they start crawling around and taking their first steps. People who care for children should be very particular about what they teach them. Sharing, caring, independence and resilience can be introduced to children early and developed as they grow.

Most little ones are eager and ready to learn, but some adults miss the opportunity; they distract toddlers by sitting them in front of the television or giving them an iPad, denying one-to-one attention. The input and interest parents have in their children today will shape our society in the future.

Sharing: – when children learn to share, it builds empathy within them for their fellow man. They also become aware that other children’s emotions need consideration. Along with acquiring social skills, youngsters get a ‘feel-good emotion ‘ from sharing with others.

It sounds simplistic, but some adults do not know how to handle situations with infants. For an easy life, they would wrench a toy away from a quiet child (who is just going about his business) and put it in the hands of a crying one who wants the toy – missing the chance to teach a crucial lesson and build a foundation for their future behaviour.

Carers should adopt the approach ‘There is enough for everyone’ and ‘everyone can have a turn; you can play with this now, and he can play with it later’ or vice versa. Talking calmly while sorting out their concerns shows children they can quickly solve problems. There is no need for drama or tantrums.
Children learn correct behaviour when someone takes the time to teach them. Positive lessons should begin as early as possible.
It is good to point it out when they are sharing and playing well, so they realise it is natural to share and get along with others. ‘I like the way you two are sharing’.

Children need positive reinforcement; in time, they will realise that sharing is a good thing and repeat the behaviour. Most young children repeat good behaviour, even more so when they receive praise and encouragement from an adult or carer.

Caring: How parents care for their child will make the child feel cherished, safe, respected and loved—or neglected, insecure, unloved and worthless. Sadly, children learn how to care for others from the way their parents treat them.
All babies need to connect and learn from someone who cares. Initially, they don’t mind who it is once the carer meets their needs.

As they grow, so does their need to attach to reliable, consistent adults who will keep them safe, love them and fulfil their requirements. Knowing that caring adults are there when needed is a secure base for children. They will interact with peers using the same consideration, attention and care they receive and learn from adults – showing empathy, concern and consideration. Adults who received minimal care when they were small may find it hard to maintain friendships; be genuinely concerned about others, or show affection.

Independence: Although babies and children rely on their parents/carers to guide and protect them, they still need to learn independence. Parents have to decide where the ‘happy medium’ lies between; being overprotective and allowing children enough room to explore, discover and be their unique selves. Children should not become over-reliant on adults or peers for answers or solutions.

Adults can encourage independence by not solving every problem a child has, but by helping the child use his/her own strategy and mind-set to work things out. When parents do everything for their child, he is unable to use and hone his capabilities and skills; they stifle his growth. Parents who are afraid of leaving their comfort zone or taking risks usually relay the same fears to their children. However, children are individuals who should be allowed to take safe risks and partake in age-appropriate activities if they choose. Adults should not limit a child’s adventure to their fears.

Resilience: Learning resilience allows children to move on from life’s adversities without getting overwhelmed or depressed. Modelling resilience is the first way to teach it, be optimistic and show self-control when things are not going to plan or when obstacles occur. Explain in a child-friendly way that there are solutions to problems and lessons to be learnt from all experiences. ‘Don’t worry, we’ll work something out’ adults must assure.

Help little ones understand the cause of negative emotions. ‘So you were angry because he tore your book?’, ‘You walked away because you felt afraid?’ When they can talk, let them express how they feel. Once they know how to put their emotions into context, they can move on and enjoy life, building resilience and resolve -rather than exaggerate or become ‘stressed out’ over incidents.

Parents should establish positive traits early, so these valuable features develop with children as they grow. Adults who recognise their personality flaws can work earnestly to rectify the same (if they want to) it is never too late. There is always room for improvement.

If you are concerned about the welfare of a child, call the CPA hotline on 227 0979 or write to us at childcaregy@gmail.com
A MESSAGE FROM THE CHILDCARE AND PROTECTION AGENCY,
MINISTRY OF HUMAN SERVICES AND SOCIAL SECURITY