A GOOD friend and I recently had a conversation about how we were slowly outgrowing certain organizations and people with whom we were associated. There was no better word to use and even though we tried to make excuses in these said situations, the word “outgrowing” is most fitting. It means to stop doing or having an interest in something, somewhere or someone, as one matures. At first, I wanted to deny the fact that I am indeed outgrowing certain people and things, but in hindsight, my mind and growth are beyond those things. To stay, means to stunt my own personal growth and to stop the profession I’ve made to get where I am today. When we outgrow things and people, we are first mentally aware of it before we can physically act on it. We can be aware of such, and yet still, we may choose to stay because of connections, attachments or other personal reasons. It’s important we pinpoint when we’ve outgrown things and when we should move on from said things.

It’s okay to outgrow people who may stunt your personal growth or when they can’t keep up with the progression you’d like to see for yourself. It’s okay to outgrow people who are comfortable with seeing you staying on a certain level only and hate to see you elevate yourself to become the best version of you. It’s okay to outgrow people who are draining, toxic and unhealthy for your well-being. Perhaps, you once had similar traits with them and that’s why you bonded over said toxicity, but if you somehow manage to overcome that—then it’s okay to let them go. Your friends in primary school may be different from your friends in high school. The type of organizations you want to work for in your 20s may be different from the type of organizations you may want to work for in your 30s. The more we age and the more concepts we grasp better—the more our perspectives change. Mind you, a change in perspective doesn’t always mean growth. However, if you were morally, financially, physically, emotionally or mentally better than you were yesterday—if you’re doing better than you were yesterday, then that’s growth.

Sometimes, we’re too attached and accustomed to routines, comfortability, familiarity, and the known. It’s hard to adapt to change, even when said change is important and needed. Your taste in music might change over time. It’s okay to start liking this new genre that you appreciate more. Your dreams of becoming a social worker may progress to become the dreams of becoming a policymaker. It’s okay to adapt to that career path. The house you live in may be too small for you and your family’s growth. It’s okay to start house hunting for a new one. Your mindset and work ethic changed for the better, but your office environment is still lackadaisical. It’s okay to move on to better employment. This is how evolution works. Over time, we evolve. If the surroundings, people and things around us fail to evolve with us, then that only does more harm to us than good. If you can’t grow together with something, someone or somewhere without it hindering your personal growth, then it’s better to grow apart.

Remember that not all roots can be planted in the same soil forever. Sometimes, it’s better to uproot yourself out of certain connections and plant yourself in a better, nurturing soil that will allow you to grow beyond your imagination. We’re afraid of change as humans, but we should be able to honour growth and its importance. The act of outgrowing things we love and care for is never an easy or pleasant process to endure, but it’s needed if we want to spread our wings. You shouldn’t beat yourself up if you’ve outgrown something you wish you didn’t outgrow. You’ll be doing yourself a favour when you decide to let it go and focus on things that give true meaning to you and yours.