After writing for six years, this may be my favourite column ever.

I WAS asked by a reader what advice I would give to the younger generations. While I may be old enough to answer this, I had a better idea. I reached out to people in my life who are a bit older and who have provided me with great wisdom. I asked them the question instead. These particular people have had major positive influences on my life. Some have given names, and others are anonymous- either way, I truly believe their advice will result in great perspective and will incite positive mindful and behavioural change.

I hope you all enjoy as much as I do!

“There is an entire book of advice that I would like to give my younger self, but I will break it down to my most important six:

1. The saying “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me” …that’s a load of crock…your words hurt and damage people for lifetimes. Be careful and kind with your words. Respect is key to all relationships.

2. In an aeroplane, the rule is to put your mask on first, then apply to others in your care. Adapt that to life. Spend time looking after yourself mentally, spiritually and physically. Once you are healthy, then you can add value to the lives of those you love.

3. Independence- find a passion and make it your job. Once you are capable of looking after yourself and recognising your worth, then you’ve won half the battle.

4. Watching TV and scrolling on social media are not hobbies, nor is most of what you’re seeing real- go outside and live your life

5.You can’t please everyone- stop trying

6. Last but certainly not least, be grateful. It changes your perspective.” – Tracy Vieira

“Grab the opportunity to learn – anything that you can learn will come in handy in life, you never know. It is never too late to pursue your studies – I did a Masters in Public Health through the University of London when I was 50, via distance education.

Be vocal and say your piece. Do not be fazed by those who appear more influential or powerful. We all have the right to speak. Expressing one’s opinion doesn’t have to be done in an aggressive or disrespectful manner. One can be assertive without being aggressive.

Try your darndest to be truthful to yourself and stay on the straight and narrow path. As you grow from childhood into adulthood, there will be many temptations – and peer pressure can often make you bend. But be guided by the little voice at the back of your head that tells you what is right from what is wrong. And be guided by the principles that your elders might have instilled in you.

Look for the simple and little things in life that can give you so much pleasure – one doesn’t have to spend money in enjoying the joys of nature – a full moon, a picnic in the countryside – or even the National Park. The sunrise, the sunset, the sound of heavy rain on your zinc roof.

Be as kind and as helpful as you can to people. What goes around comes around. Help comes back to you from the most unexpected sources – and not necessarily from those whom you helped.

Build as much goodwill as you can – and it doesn’t necessarily mean having to give in the form of money. Of course, the corollary to helping people is to beware of those who may take you for granted and ALWAYS look for a “brace.” Help people who are willing to help themselves and not those who would like to become appendages.

Try not to harbour negative thoughts about those who may have offended you. Negative thoughts weigh you down and utilise much of your mental energy. Difficult as it might be, try to move on. Justice has a strange way of being served.

While disappointments may at the outset be difficult to cope with, strange enough, disappointments can serve to strengthen your personality and build your resilience.

Try not to fall in love with love, but with the person in question. Many a gooey-eyed teenager has rushed into a long-term union with someone whom they never really got to know. Long term relationships, marriage, and parenthood can wait until you are mentally and emotionally ready.” – Mena Carto

“My advice to my younger self or to a younger generation is to ensure you have tertiary education. Presently, you will have more upward mobility in the working world if this is in your resume, as it is known Education is the key to success, without a doubt Education also helps to reduce poverty. This young generation is very privileged in obtaining a tertiary education, they can push-start from high school by deciding their future career whether to do Law, Sciences, Engineering, Agriculture, Oil and Gas and the many other academic programmes taught at a higher level. The young generation can also attend many Vocation Seminars/Workshops which are mostly held through a collaboration with the Ministry of Education and the private sector, there are also work-study programmes available at many private companies and government offices. After completing the Vocation Seminars and work-study programmes, hopefully you will be guided in the right direction to apply for the right programme to obtain your college degree, whether it’s a Diploma, Bachelors, Masters or PHD. Student Loans are readily available at most commercial banks and if you are very successful at CSEC, some Schools (Old Students Association), private sector and government grant you a scholarship to make tertiary education possible, so you can make a positive impact in the future in Guyana.” – Private submission

“Perspective is everything. When one is young, we think we have a lot of time in which to accomplish things; the older I get, I understand time only as a metaphor, for the energy we can access and expend in this dimension. It is therefore upon perfecting the use of our energy that we must focus if we are to live a fulfilling life that also means something to others.”- Prof Paloma Mohamed

“This would be my suggestion [not advice] to anyone asking me the above, today;
Find out who you are, how you became ‘you.’ This is a journey of understanding the people and life events that affected you from the day you were born and how you ‘learned’ to be the person you are by the examples surrounding you. These examples were the teachers of life and the direction of patterns to be followed – habits were created, some bad, some good, no one quite understands how they became who they are until they choose to step back and study this as these habits, we didn’t even know we were creating.

Understanding that these habits can be unlearned (if needed) and it is possible to know yourself, love yourself and create new habits to be the person you want to be, is an amazing experience.
Today, serenity is most important for me. I am more aware of who I am, I have accepted that I am made of assets and defects and I have searched through the rubble for treasures and garbage, for the things I want to discard or keep. I use this information to make healthy choices for myself today. There is no perfection. When I screw up or fall back to the use of unhealthy habits, awareness is most prominent (this takes practice through the choice of staying connected to me) and I can choose to be gentle with myself and know I can build upon that and turn it around. I love the quote ‘Life is a journey not a destination’, for me I continue the practice of learning who I am each day.” – Nikki Mendes

Be your authentic self and never try to “fit in “whilst working hard to pursue your passion. On a personal note, whilst I am blessed to be doing what I do, I feel almost guilty being paid for it.” – Annette Arjoon

“You said that there’s so much for you to learn. That’s true for everyone, regardless of age.
If we keep that in mind, we’d be more open to learning and less arrogant. The world has become extremely complicated, so there’s really no easy way to advise our children other than case by case. Even that is difficult because of the number of variables. That said, and being an old-timer, I would revert back to the basics. Health being #1, followed by, in random order, family and healthy friendships, education, work ethic, kindness, courage, honour, integrity and the willingness to laugh, especially at yourself.
So, in conclusion, my best advice would be to work on yourself at becoming the best person you can be. Usually, everything else follows” – AM

“A message to my younger self. I could prove all of what I say with citations from learned people but time is short and you can test for yourself the accuracy of my advice just by trying it. We will not be talking about abstract concepts but about the practical application of knowledge to improve not only your life but the lives of everyone you meet.

Everyone needs attention. Very few people get enough. You can make an amazing contribution to the happiness of every single person you meet. Give attention and pay attention to everyone you meet (in person). Social media does not count. Ask how their day is going, notice how long they have been at work. See their challenges. Consider how they must be feeling. Be compassionate. The responses will amaze you. This works well on 97% of the population. Let’s talk about the other 3 percent.

You can’t help them, but you can at least not harm them. There exists a fragment of the population for whom the simple act of disagreeing with them is extremely painful. Humans disagree on basically everything, but for these people this causes them to anticipate only pain from other people. They can’t escape the pain and so they hate everyone. They have no attention to give and live a tortured existence. They are easily identifiable, although they try to hide. While in casual interactions, I still recommend kindness, deeper interactions will reveal these people.

The simplest test is to disagree with them and watch the response. If they become disproportionately agitated or angry, you have found one. You can’t help them, don’t even try. What you can do is remember to never disagree with them. I am sure you never intend to cause them pain, so now that you do know that you are causing them pain, I expect you to think and act differently.” – Gerry Mekdeci

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change. I tell this to my kids because I feel with access to social media, judgement of others is so easy, so when others judge, really look at those people and try to see a different perspective. Their personal struggles have made them who they are, good or bad. We have no right to judge them. So look at their good side and you will see them for the good things they do. People judge others according to their own standards, which may not be appropriate for everyone as they expect people to do things the way they would do them. People then use words based on these judgments and words are very powerful – they can destroy someone, so sometimes, it’s better to stay silent. I wish I was stronger when I was younger to know as well as tell people that their opinion of me doesn’t matter. Judging a person does not define who they are. It defines who you are. Also, you can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore to decide to be happy.” – AB

Thank you all for reading and an even bigger thank you for those who contributed.
Please continue to send suggested topics to caitlinvieira@gmail.com