ONCE you have children, your life changes forever; you are indebted to a little person who will grow up in front of your eyes and one day become a man or woman. The success of a child’s journey to adulthood relies on your actions as a parent, provider and protector. One of the best things parents can do is learn about children and child development. To equip themselves with relevant knowledge beforehand is to be prepared. Even those who are not first-time parents can learn something new about childcare; we are never too old to learn.

Children should be happy and healthy. We all know how it feels to behold a happy, healthy child. We feel the aura. And the smile, confidence and energy are unmistakable. Just as we can tell when a child is having a rough time or experiencing developmental or emotional issues, every parent should strive to bring out the best in their children. They can do so by being a caring parent. Caring parents are always present. They do not need loads of money or a big fancy house, neither do they have to supply treats for their children at regular intervals.

All they need to do is care from their hearts and work in the child’s best interest. Children respond to kindness, consideration and affection. Having these attributes in their childhood makes them feel secure, loved and appreciated. Children will always need adults with whom they can bond and build trusting relationships. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, teachers, mentors and close family members included.

If you haven’t got the time to nurture your child because ‘life has you busy’, your child is at a disadvantage. Find or make time to spend quality moments together. Where there is a will, there is a way; children must come first. Structure your day, so you put aside time to be with your child or children. Make a genuine effort to listen to them and show an interest in how they spend their time. Stimulate their minds by asking questions. Hug them, kiss them and highlight their qualities rather than their wrong-doings or failures.

The bonding, nurturing, guidance and love of a parent give a child significance, assurance and peace of mind, not the lack or provision of material comforts. Children need stability to lead healthy and happy lives. Moving children from pillar to post is unsettling for them regardless of the circumstances. Where possible, children should remain with or live between their parents in a comfortable, loving mutual environment.

The worse thing for a child is when a parent blatantly palms them off on someone or fails to collect them on pre-arranged days. Some parents make children feel like they are burdens. They do not have the child’s development or best interest at heart. The knowledge of having an established abode and caring parents is comforting to a child.

It is a small fact but often overlooked that moving a child from place to place gives them a sense of insecurity and puts them at risk from perpetrators. Some children’s lives are at the whim and fancy of their parents, and where parents lack a sense of direction or behave impulsively, children suffer. The suffering may not be apparent, and the child may not verbalise his/her anxiety, but internally children are affected by their parents’ insensitive decisions about their welfare. Parents must provide a stable home for their children with the basic necessities.

A roof over their heads and a clean, dry place to sleep; running water, food, clothes, and health care are essential for growing children, as well as education. Children are entitled to these basic things, and parents must provide them. Sometimes when the going gets tough for parents, it is hard for them to imagine a day when their children are grown. It just seems like an endless succession of buying food, paying bills, doing housework, cooking food, going to work and sleeping, while the children reap all the benefits.

For this reason, parents need to teach children a sense of responsibility; they too have a role to play in the running of a home; it is a team effort. There are chores they must do to enhance the upkeep of the household and not be solely reliant on parents to get things done. Parents are providers, and children can help out along the way where possible. When parents instill responsibilities at an early age, children know what parents expect from them. They help to keep their surroundings clean; naturally, they clean up after themselves and don’t make extra work for their hard-working parents to stress over. They know to finish their school work before play and usually grow into self-sufficient teenagers.

Parents should not criticise their children even when they let them down in some way. Angry, stressed parents say hurtful things to children. They want to hurt the child to match the extent of their pain or disappointment. Try to manage your temper and if you must criticise, make sure it is the child’s behaviour you target and not the child. Let your children know that you love them unconditionally, not through words alone but actions. In times of need, they should know they can turn to you and trust you implicitly.

If you are concerned about the welfare of a child, call the CPA hotline on 227 0979 or write to us at childcaregy@gmail.com

A MESSAGE FROM THE CHILDCARE AND PROTECTION AGENCY,
MINISTRY OF HUMAN SERVICES AND SOCIAL SECURITY