I RECEIVED a column request from a young girl who claims to be having constant problems with her siblings. She is experiencing what seems to be situational depressive symptoms as the onset only occurs during and after an altercation with her siblings. I had a personal connection with this request as when I was younger, I didn’t get along with my sister at all; we fought all the time and although we loved each other, I feel as though we disliked each other for a long time. Well, sweetheart, I’m here to tell you that thankfully, those days do not last. When you grow individually, you’re able to better grow together and understand each other. You will come to realise that no matter what happens, that’s the person/ people you will have at your side.
I’m going to write about the mental health benefits of siblings and I’m going to dedicate this one to my sister Megan.

Siblings are a source of countless life lessons and skills. From a very young age, they teach us respect for others, communication, thoughtfulness and generosity while allowing us to practice our social skills. Sibling relationships can teach the importance of thicker skin, sympathy, empathy and enhanced coping skills. I think the relationship with your sibling can determine whether you have healthy or unhealthy coping skills; whether you turn to healthy activities or alcohol and other drugs when in distress. During hard times, they are a source of understanding, support and resilience. Even those relationships that consist of many fights can aid in our development. These fights teach us boundaries, forgiveness and effective conflict resolution skills
There have been many studies on sibling relationships that have resulted in a few conclusions.
Sibling relationships tend to outlive all other types of relationships. A study showed that siblings are the most common relatives to see near someone’s death bed.

Siblings improve our physical health.
Research shows that those with siblings are more active and energetic and therefore less likely to develop obesity and the subsequent range of diseases that tend to follow. Whether you’re running with them or away from them, you’re still running.
The hygiene hypothesis suggests that individuals with siblings are also less likely to develop auto-immune disorders such as Multiple sclerosis (MS) and Type 1 diabetes mellitus. This is due to an excess of germ exposure between siblings that usually build up bodily defences.

Having a sister specifically allows for a healthier expression of emotion and a higher resistance to mental health illnesses such as depression and anxiety. Those with sisters showed to be kinder, more resilient and were able to build closer friendships outside of their family than those who did not have sisters.

Would you like to improve your sibling relationship but not sure where to start? Below are some suggestions that may help.
Think of your sibling as a supporter, not a competitor; this will turn your biggest challenge and rival into an Invaluable resource. Whatever abilities they have that you may be jealous of or want to surpass them in, view them as a source of education instead.
Encourage your siblings in whatever is important to them- whether you have any interest in it or not. Relationships, in general, are improved when there is a shared interest in an activity. Spend quality time finding one thing that you both love and do it together- at least once a week. Learning something new together, developing a specific skill especially has been shown to enhance the relationship; take up a sport together, language classes, cooking sessions – anything really that you would both enjoy. This may sound counter-intuitive but give them space. Everyone needs space at times, especially those who share bedrooms.
Acknowledge, understand and accept where their boundaries are. We often tend to push these in sibling relationships – probably more than any other relationship in our lives. We tend to believe that our sibling isn’t going anywhere so we can treat them however we want- tease them, criticise them and even anger them on purpose.
Make use of the opportunity of always having someone there and make it the best and healthiest relationship you have.
One of the most important – just listen to your sibling. Be there for them if they show any indication of needing guidance and support. It doesn’t matter if your sibling is younger, older etc, they have something to offer you.

Whether appreciation is consistently felt or not, I know I’m not the only one who is indebted to my sibling. I value everything I’ve learned from her and every opportunity I have to be with her. I’m more aware than ever how lucky I am to have a close friend in her, one who provides me with emotional support for life.
You all can take the steps to begin to feel the same. Why not start today?

Thank you for reading and please send in any topics to caitlinvieira@gmail.com.
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