I WANT to thank everyone for consistently emailing me topics to discuss. It really excites me that I am writing on topics that actually interest people and I promise to cover every suggestion as the weeks go by.
I wanted to start with this particular one, as I wholeheartedly relate to it.
A reader wrote in and explained that he likes to be alone a lot of the time, really dislikes going out and only does it when he is pressured by his friends. It broke my heart when he asked: “what’s wrong with me?” There is absolutely nothing wrong with you or me or anyone else who likes to keep to themselves.

He used the word ‘anti-social,’ which has a pretty negative connotation to it, but even the more positive options such as introvert do not really have much of a difference.
Many people call me anti-social for lots of reasons; I don’t like to go out much and when I do, I don’t talk much unless I’m extremely comfortable with the group of people or environment that I’m in. If it’s with people I don’t know, a lot of the time, I’m in a corner.
I’m going to talk about the benefits of this, so that all of you who feel this way can stop being so hard on yourselves for simply being who you are.

It’s not that I don’t like people or anything like that; it’s that the days are sometimes so overwhelming that time alone is needed to just recharge. What’s wrong with that?
We are around people most of the day, needing to be as productive and energetic as possible. Not to mention all the other sources that can bombard us with information and many of it negative – news, social media platforms or any gatherings/meetings that you are pressured into attending.
Many people need to take alone time to regroup, collect thoughts and build a fresh set of patience. This is important to really process what’s happened throughout the day and how we really feel about it.

Many people equate being alone with being lonely, but those are two very different things.
It may sound like a cliché, but only when you spend quality time alone can you really know who you are and what you want out of life. You are open to clear, uninterrupted and un-influenced train of thought. I promise you, that all your important realisations, logical thinking and decision making happen when you’re alone- or maybe in counselling; it does not happen when you are out liming and possibly drinking.
One of my favourite sayings is, “you’re not missing anything when you’re getting your act together.”

You build friendships that really matter. You know those people who seem to know everyone? It does not mean that they are not lonely simply because having lots of acquaintances or even friends does not mean it is the quality ones we need in our lives. These healthy and important relationships are only built and flourish during one-on-one time and in the right environments. This means that if you choose a more ‘anti-social’ life, it can actually consist only of meaningful relationships and conversations. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I really dislike small talk- which drastically increases the more you go out. There is a theory claiming that in a two-hour long conversation, there are only 10-15 minutes of quality information being shared.

I live a much healthier life during my anti-social periods. We all know that when we go out, we are more likely to eat unhealthily, consume more alcohol than intended, as well as have less sleep than intended. All of this contributes to having low energy and motivation the next day – whether there is an official hangover or not. For example, I rarely go to the gym or do any additional work the day after a night or even late afternoon out. You also save lots of money. I don’t know about you guys, but most times when I go out, I spend more money than I plan on things I really don’t need.

It aids in a drama-free life. You will always have some kind of drama in your life but when you go out, you may either make it public or get sucked into other people’s stories. May sound cool and funny, but have you ever tried peace instead?

Something I’ve noticed is that people trust me more because I don’t go out. They feel more comfortable opening up to me because they don’t see me with lots of people all over the place as if I don’t have a house. This aids in another point: when I go out, people are always excited to see me as they rarely see me out. You know those people that are out so much that you almost get tired of seeing them? Yea I don’t have that problem.

If you are hard on yourself because you aren’t as social as most others, that’s okay too. Not only is Guyana an extremely social culture, but our generation is the most social of all with social media and other technology that allow us to easily have friends all around the world.

I’m also not necessarily pushing anyone to spend more time on their own- if being around people all day make you happy, then good for you.
I’m simply trying to get people to simply accept who they are.
If that is not you, that’s fine either way
Actually, next week I am going to discuss the positive sides of being social, as you can really argue both sides of anything.

Thank you for reading. Please continue to send any topics you’d like to talk about to caitlinvieira@gmail.com

Say Yes to Life and No to Drugs! Always!
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