IN the past, I’ve tried to dissect and write about the toxic generational curses Guyanese would pass on to the next generation. As such, I think it’s only fair I continue down that road by addressing the toxic parenting culture Guyanese parents pass off as “My parents raised me this way too, so you’ll be fine.” There is toxicity deeply rooted within our “parenting styles” in Guyana. Our culture already teaches us to always respect our elders/adults. So, many children either grow up in fear of breaching that pre-existing moral code or they simply don’t know otherwise.

These children then grow up to be adults and eventually have children of their own, using the same toxic parenting style that was passed on to them. This continues the toxic cycle for generation after generation. There are some like myself who refuse to be caught up in such a cycle. Of course, if you go against the cultural norm of any kind, whether or not the norm in question is toxic, you’ll be labelled as the “disrespectful child.”
There is much that is left inconsolable due to the styles, methods and strategies many parents use in Guyana. You can’t address the towering amounts of social issues amongst children and teenagers without accepting that maybe, just maybe, toxic parenting styles might be a contributing factor. Guyanese “parenting styles” is the independent variable for many other correlating issues. I’m sure of it. I believe it is driven and fuelled by fear to cause more fear. Guyanese parents are fearful and broken from their very own parents and then transfer said fear to their children.

Some parents may even think somehow it’s “easier” to make children fear you than to make them love you/love them in return. It’s “better” to spank children, aka physically abuse a child instead of strategising an effective yet harmless method of discipline.

The “we are a third world country” or “this is how we were brought up” excuse is also getting very old. I’m sick of it. Many Guyanese parents these days have access to the internet and they use it daily, not very “third world” of them, but they do. One can easily surf the web for more information on how to utilise healthy and positive approaches to parenthood.

This isn’t an issue of “we do not know any better.” We do. Rather, it’s an issue of “we choose not to do better.” I won’t whitewash any of this because I’m a Guyanese myself. I won’t try to find a positive from this, because I’d like to call a spade a spade. There are certain weaknesses and embarrassing things to be ashamed of in our culture and sadly, this is one of them. You don’t agree with me? Do your polls on social media or conduct research of your own, asking the questions, “Has your parents and their parenting styles contributed negatively to your mental health?” “If yes, how?”. The important question is the “how?” because then you’ll understand the heart-breaking stories that some Guyanese had to endure.

If you’re reading this and you agree with much of what I’ve said, I hope you are in the process of breaking free of this toxic culture. I also hope this article serves as a validation for your position against the topic in question, because I know many Guyanese youngsters feel the same way as I do. If you’re reading this and you entirely disagree with what I have to say, I urge you to reconsider your position for the overall betterment of the children of this nation.

You simply should not have children at all, if you believe that it’s okay to transfer toxicity to your children just because it was transferred to you. Every child is different and parenting styles should be strategised and tailored to cater to said child’s needs.

“But, I turned out just fine.” No, you did not! You just learned how to cope with it or your fear blinds you to the point where you can’t see beyond it. Sadly enough, your children may not be as lucky as you are to cope as well as you did.