I RECEIVED an email from a young, 15-year-old girl who is pregnant. She explained her distress to me and asked me what to do and how to tell her parents. Rather than replying to her personally, I decided to write a column as I am pretty sure she is not the only person going through this at the moment. There are many teenage pregnancies in Guyana, too many for any one’s liking.

First of all, if you have unprotected sex, which is sex without a condom or without any other contraceptive, there is a huge chance of getting pregnant. There are a lot of myths going around that certain positions, times of day, where you are, what you eat etc. can prevent pregnancy. However, I will say it again- the only thing that can prevent pregnancy is contraception or abstinence which means no intercourse at all.
While this is a stressful and scary experience, it’s not one that can be avoided and the sooner you deal with it, the better.

The first thing you do is to make sure you are pregnant. Missing a period or taking a home test can still be inaccurate. You should always go to your nearest health centre to do a proper test to make sure. These include urine and blood tests- blood tests being more accurate.

While you are there, you should also do a wide range of Sexually transmitted diseases tests as if you got pregnant, you are also a risk for STD’s.

Now, there is an important decision to make; you always have options. These include keeping the baby, giving birth and putting the baby up for adoption or terminating the pregnancy. This decision should be made with a trusted parent, guardian or health care professional.

If you are trying to decide whether to keep the baby, there are a few important things to think about. Take the time to think about your relationships, who in your life can help you to raise a baby, can you be prepared in 9 months, are you emotionally and physically stable? Think about your responsibilities- what does being a parent mean to you, are you willing to sacrifice what needs to be sacrificed? Think about your future plans – what goals and dreams do you have? Are they still possible with a baby? Everyone needs to respect whatever decision you make at the end of the day.

Choice 2 is adoption, which means giving up your child, sometimes into the child care system or sometimes to a family which have longed to care for a child.

If you choose to abort your child, you should go and get all the information about what this actually entails. Depending on how far along you are, there are medications which you can take, or there are medical and even surgical procedures.

Never make a decision out of fear or pressure but rather accurate thought and knowledge.
If you decide to keep the baby, you need to practice proper prenatal care. This means no alcohol, cigarettes, any other drugs and taking medication and vitamins given by a health care professional. It also means eating a proper diet, staying physically active while gaining weight wisely.

Another thing to do is prepare for the future. Teenage pregnancy and childbirth tend to have negative effects such as substance abuse, school drop-out and less likely to be employed. However, you do not have to be a part of those negative statistics.

So, now, how to tell the people in your life? Your partner? Your parents or guardians?
Even though it’s very scary, this is a talk that you can get through. You can have this talk if you are worried that you may be pregnant or if you already know – either way, you are looking for support.

Many people worry that their parents are going to freak out and that’s very possible. It would be better if you understand why parents tend to take this news badly. Some are shocked and angry because they had bright plans for you, some feel you are not emotionally ready for intercourse, let alone a baby. Some will be disappointed and embarrassed because they care about what other people think. Some behave calmer than others simply because it’s their personality and in their nature to carefully handle a ‘crisis’.
However, as harsh as this sounds, none of this has anything to do with you.

How can you start? Start by finding the right time, make sure they are calm and have some free time then start by telling them the truth; that you’re scared, you trust them and most importantly you need them.

It’s best to come straight out and say it, without blaming anyone else. I’m pregnant. Give the receiver some time to absorb and digest what you’ve said. It is better to know your options before because be prepared to answer a lot of questions such as ‘what is your plan?’ ‘Have you thought it through?’ or ‘what are you going to do now?’

Take some responsibility. Make sure your parents know that you are aware that this may be a disappointment. Show them you are responsible by having some sort of plan in place- this does not have to be a concrete one. Your parents may have some suggestions, listen to them. However, remember that the ultimate decision lies with you.

If you are concerned about your safety, have another trusted adult present.

Remember, they may be a lot of anger and maybe even threats but at the end of the day, good parents only want to know that their children are happy and healthy.

Thank you for reading. Please continue to send in your requested topics to caitlinvieira@gmail.com.

If you would like to make a private appointment with me, please text or WhatsApp 623-0433