Dear editor,
YOU might have noticed that the country is calm for the past few days. No protests. No invasion of hotels. No fighting amongst the races. Things so tranquil that the two new Internet sensations were caught embracing the Minister of the people. By the way, Caribbean Voice, this was not an anti-suicide campaign, so you can put your pens down. The main reason why the land of many waters is quieter than a one minute silence, could only mean one thing and one thing only. Bharrat Jagdeo is out of the country.

My reliable sources informed me that Bharrat is in Queens, New York. I am at a loss, like most Guyanese, as to how he got there, since it is general knowledge that his mate and personal pilot is languishing in an American jail for money laundering and drug trafficking. Actually, the person in question goes by the name of Khemraj Lall. He would fly both Jagdeo and Ramotar, Bharrat’s first puppet, around the world for free. In exchange, they built a hangar at CJIA for his planes. To understand how this arrangement worked to the satisfaction of both parties, it is imperative to review what Adam Smith, the Scottish economist and intellectual once argued, “In a voluntary exchange, both parties must gain or at least expect to gain.” Yes, both parties did gain much, to the pleasure of the Russian Economist. Having reviewed the expert opinion of a smart person to help us shine some light on this surreptitious arrangement, it is only reasonable, to maintain academic balance, to look at what a not-so-smart person said. Enter Donald Trump. He, via a giant megaphone on a major news outlet during Prime Time voluntarily uttered the following words, “quid pro quo.” Look, I am not that smart to know the meaning of such fancy words.

In any event, BJ found his way to Queens, New York. Before he left Guyana, there was a meeting of all the brains in PPP. Actually, that should be one brain, since Dr. Luncheon is the only person in PPP with an IQ above that of a ram goat. Top of the agenda for this impromptu caucus was to articulate what the “Supreme Leader” will say to the masses in Queens. ‘Battylion’, always wanting to be first, with enthusiasm shouted, “Talk about the poor economy.” That thought was quickly extinguished by none other than Sam, who was awakend by all the ruckus resulting from such a foolish suggestion. He sleepily admitted that the economy grew by 4.5%. ‘Mr. Vexatious’ then suggested they talk about the potholes and poor infrastructure. Before the sentence was completed, a minibus crashed into Freedom House, completely demolishing the sign, ‘PPP the only party of integrity’.

This quickly reminded the cohort of clowns and a startled Sleeping Bibi, of the repairs and resurfacing of the millions of potholed roads that the PPP left, which now give the drivers renewed confidence in speeding. Bharrat then sheepishly asked, “Can I remind them that the Government is illegal?” The Lady Pandit looked at him and rhetorically asked, “Can an illegal Government call a legal election?” Mr. Rape- in-the-Parliament, aka Hotel Invader suggested, “Let’s say that the people need more money.” The Feral Blaster, clearly irritated said, “Not after a 75% increase.” Roger Khan’s pal postulated, “We can argue that the healthcare system collapsed as soon as we were voted out.”

Suit guy from GECOM responded, “The well learned Minister of Health buried that, along with our hopes of winning the 2020 elections a few weeks ago on Benschop radio interview. The man who was once severely bitten by vagrant goats posited, “Tell them we will reopen to sugar estates.” Bharrat nervously shouted, “Hell no!” The less we say about the sugar estates reopening, the better for us, since that idiot who was born in the slums of Princess Street, who ate out of rubbish bins as a lad, asked us some very difficult questions that our Turnaround Specialist, who once rescued the world’s economy but now rescues failing sweetie stands, could not answer.” After a gulp of fresh air and wipe of sweaty forehead, he continued, “Our Turnaround Specialist, with his vast experience of saving the world’s economy, working along with Mr. Barack Obama and Mr. Gordon Brown, has never encountered such questions in his life, hence he openly questioned whether the author of these bone-hard questions was a Chinese computer algorithm or a Russian bot.” At this point, Dr. Luncheon, who was valiantly struggling for the past hour to extricate moustache and beard from his oral cavity, shouted, “ORDER! Stop this nonsense of Chinese computer algorithms and Russian bot! Putting order to the farcical meeting, he said, “Sir, you do what you do best. JUST LIE.

With that, Bharrat was off to Queens, New York, not greeted by red carpet but only rotten eggs. He took the podium and stressed to the masses that they should leave their jobs, take a loan, and return to Guyana to vote. In essence, he repeated the very foolishness he said in Canada. He then went on to state that people are going hungry in Guyana.

Seriously! That’s a shocker! The only thing that would have made that “going hungry” statement more laughable is if Irfaan had said it. I do wonder, with my limited IQ, if PPP were so good for 23 years, then I believe that Guyanese should have been living comfortably today. How did they lose all their wealth in such a short time? Secondly, if they were not starving when the minimum wage was $39,000, then why are they starving when the minimum was increased by 75% in four years to $70,000? Thirdly, words are cheap. People want to see scientific evidence. Would Bharrat Jagdeo provide the scientific evidence which supports this ‘going hungry’ statement? Also, if people are going hungry as Bharrat is claiming, then I expect other social factors to be also affected; namely, school attendance. The evidence does not support, that is more children are missing school since this Government has taken power. As a matter of fact, the evidence strongly supports the opposite, especially in the hinterland regions. To reinforce, I will repeat: The evidence is that both school attendance and examination performances have improved under this Government. Can Jagdeo explain this apparent dichotomy?

Let’s look at the sugar industry. This industry was essentially dead when this Government gained power in 2015, as a result of mismanagement by the PPP. This Government had to downsize to save the industry. The unfortunate consequence of downsizing is that employees will become redundant. No government wants that. This government provided financial packages for the redundant workers, and arranged alternative employment. Could things have been done better? Yes. When PPP closed sugar estates, they were not that considerate. As a result, if the redundant sugar employees did not go hungry during PPP’s heartless redundancy, why are they going hungry now? Finally, PPP destroyed Linden by closing the bauxite industry; they were not that considerate. Linden is presently a ghost town. Those are hard facts. I am curious to know why they are not that eager to reopen the bauxite industry?

It is easy to lie. What is difficult to do is to substantiate it. I pray for the day when our electorate starts interrogating politicians like Jagdeo, and not just sit and absorb garbage from him. He is the Champion of Lies. He cannot be taken seriously. The only persons who are hungry in Guyana are those in the PPP who are hungry for power. The fact is that power will remain elusive. My message to the electorate is simple. Don’t give power to a man who is in love with power.

Regards,
Dr. Mark Devonish