AS I should have predicted, last week’s column on the benefit of siblings brought in a heap of responses which ranged from “did I miss out from having siblings?” to “please write on the benefits of being an only child so my daughter could stop begging me for siblings”. The truth is, both sides can be reliably argued so yes, there are also many benefits to being an only child.

Only children are often stereotyped as spoilt, attention seeking and lonely or anti-social but this is far from the truth regarding the majority.
There have been just as many studies on only children (as they are on those with siblings) that have determined a wide range of important advantages.

Research shows that only children are more comfortable around adults and develop social skills at a younger age due to the amount of time spent with adult company. They learn to form connections and relationships with a wider demographic of people which they highly value because it wasn’t the given opportunity of a sibling.

They tend to learn morals, responsibility, cooperation and respect for authority at a younger age than most due to the over exposure of parental values and standards.
They prematurely develop independence, self-esteem and a strong self of self which makes them less likely to be susceptible to peer pressure. Only children tend to have higher self- confidence because they are more often than not self- taught in many areas where others had siblings to learn from or model after. As an adult, this opportunity makes us more likely to try new experiences without serious fears of risk or failure.

Only children are more likely to be focused and determined as they have no energy built up towards in-house competition. They have no one to be compared to, to live up to or to set a good example for. They have unrivalled access to their parents and all the resources they can provide. This allows the child to feel protected and valued.

Studies show that only children are more inclined to be more imaginative in both play and work which tends to make them more creative. They learn to be content alone and in their own company – which I think is probably the most important. This means they learn to not rely on others for happiness and comfort, but rather to look internally for safety and comfort.

One researcher wrote “From what I have seen, only children tend to be powerfully parented. Well attached to parents and well nurtured by them, the only child receives a lot of parental attention, affection, acceptance, and approval”.

I don’t think it’s accurate to say that only children are spoilt because they actually have no one around to share responsibility with. I remember often fighting with my sister about who would feed the dog or do the dishes; only children just have to do it. These children are often stereotyped as selfish but my observations have shown just the opposite. Sometimes, they are more generous simply because they didn’t have the opportunity to share growing up.

If you’re an only child who remembers a lonely childhood, there is an equal (most likely more) number of people who remember being distressed or even traumatised by a sibling. Think of it this way, you will always be the favourite child; no one there to steal your stuff. Most importantly, while your siblings would have always stood up for you, you have instead learned to stand up for yourself.

Thanking you for reading. Please keep sending any topics you’d like to talk about to caitlinvieira@gmail.com

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