I HAVE never watched a single episode of “The Bachelor,” because I have always told myself that dating shows were a hack and, therefore, worthless of my time. However, when I heard about Netflix I was producing a dating show, called “Dating Around,” I immediately perked up only because the concept was not something that I had connected with the streaming giant, the distributor of such films as “Roma,” which is about to storm the Oscars. I figured that dating shows – as slight and trashy receptacles into which heartbroken people poured their Saturday nights – might indeed be different from everything else offered to me so far, and having watched it, I can definitely say that it is indeed something special.

The concept is a simple one: a singleton goes on a date with five potential partners, and then the five are whittled down to one when the singleton makes his/her choice at the end of the half-hour episode. That is really all there is to it. There are no bad gimmicks or obvious ulterior motives. It really seems to be a TV show that accurately condenses five blind dates into half an hour and offers a concentrated lesson on the various ways in which modern dating might manifest itself. The people on the show come from various ethnic and cultural backgrounds, are of varying ages and sexualities and gender identities, and they come from differing walks of society, and it is this diversity that is one of the factors that makes the show good. How wonderful it is to see oneself reflected onscreen, in a dating show, at last! How wonderful to see someone who looks or acts or thinks or feels like you, looking for and actually finding love! It is no secret that certain sections of society have long been banished from the mainstream, so much so that appearances in dating shows (especially this one which presents LGBTQ people or people of differing races going on dates) becomes such a refreshing and welcoming thing indeed.

Although the first season is short, with only six episodes, there are some standout moments. The first as anyone will tell you has to do with a young woman, who comes from an Indian background, named Gurki. On her date with a handsome, young, white man named Justin, something terrible happens. Gurki admits that she has been married once before and that she only did it because there was so much pressure, especially within her culture, for girls to get married. Justin goes on to berate her for being a liar for marrying someone she was uncertain about and accuses her of being untrustworthy, while ignoring her explanations of the cultural pressure that made her feel like marriage was an

expectation and a path that had to be taken. It is a tense moment in the show that clashes with every ideal that one can expect from a first date. By the end, Justin has stormed out and Gurki is crying. Apart from being an example of culture clash and of the failure of a great section of white people, to generally expect everyone else to conform to their expectations of what the world should be, while ignoring the perspectives of others, it is also a moment that tells us a lot about dating in a world that is becoming more and more diverse. It is a warning also, forcing us to abandon the notion that good-looking guys are good guys. Furthermore, this episode is also a stark depiction of what egotistical

masculinity can look like, as seen in the telling moment when Justin tells Gurki of an ex-girlfriend, whom he forced to give up her pet cat because he does not like cats. Thankfully, it is important to point out that in the end, it did seem like Gurki had very good dates with the other guys that she went out with and that Justin was just the exception.

There are sweet moments in the show also. There is Leonard, an old man, withered with a slight stoop, but brimming with energy, charisma, and joy. Leonard is a widower, who lived a happy life with his wife until she passed. He goes on blind dates with several charming older women, hoping to find the magic of love once again. His episode is one of the best

simply because it focuses on love among older people. Sometimes, being young makes one foolishly unaware of everything that happens past a certain age. Therefore, it is important that Leonard’s episode is shown to the younger generation, as it reflects the fact that there is always hope and love in life, particularly in the future that can seem far away and dim and bleak to young people. Leonard crushes our expectations and surpasses all of them. He has beautiful chemistry with each of the amazing women he goes out with. On the dates, Leonard shares jokes, and one woman (an artist) draws an image for him on a napkin

using her lipstick, and he dances in the moonlight with one of the other dates in the street, and he winsomely helps another into her shawl at the end of the night. Leonard’s episode counters the one with Justin beautifully because it basically shows what men should be like in the world. It emphasises how women should be treated on dates, with kindness and respect. At the end of this episode, when Leonard makes his choice, the viewer will not be able to do anything but smile and sigh at the sight of all the goodness and humour and happiness that came through in this episode.
Overall, “Dating Around” offers an interesting insight into the world of modern dating. It is sometimes sad, sometimes funny, sometimes “cringey”, sometimes full of joy, but always entertaining.