I BRIEFLY spoke about addiction last week and received an email about a type of incapacitating addiction that I’ve only seen a few times during my practice. I do not think this is due to a rarity of the disorder but rather the judgement and stigma that typically attaches to it. Also informally known as sex addiction, hypersexuality is not agreeably considered a mental health illness within the field, despite it resulting in many of the same harms and consequences.

I would like to start off by clearly stating that sex addiction doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with the amount of sex one has. Many people have very healthy sex lives and safely enjoy multiple partners- no shame or judgement in that. Rather, sex addiction is present when the person is unable to stop their behaviours, regardless of the knowledge and acceptance that they are hurting themselves or others.

The brain biology involved in sex addiction is very similar to that of alcohol and other drugs. When there is sexual pleasure, particularly an orgasm, there is an influx of dopamine (the happy hormone) in the brain. This, of course, results in a feeling of euphoria and is repeated every time the behaviour occurs. This is a powerful incentive that creates the vicious cycle of behaviour.

Sex addiction sounds funny or even ideal to some. The few people that I have seen with this condition had one very crucial thing in common- they felt as though they couldn’t tell a soul. One client said they attempted to confide in a loved one and the response was “well that’s a nice addiction to have”. However, this addiction is as debilitating as any other as it also involves isolation, loss of interest in any other activities, disruption in relationships, immobility and loss of productivity in school or work.

An addiction to sexual activity does not necessarily mean that people constantly go looking for sexual partners. The majority of the cases include consistent urges to watch pornography, masturbate, and engage in prostitution with the most extreme cases hold compulsions to engage in illegal sexual behaviours such as exhibitionism or rape.

People with sex addiction typically experience recurrent and intense sexual fantasies, urges, or behaviours that interfere with their daily lives. It’s a preoccupation that leaves little room for relationships, hobbies and general productivity. When there is opportunity, there is safe or unsafe sexual activity with people they may or may not be close to; they aren’t usually concerned for their or the other person’s health and safety. Most importantly, the frequency of these behaviours results in feelings of guilt, powerlessness, shame or self-hatred with an inability to stop these behaviours. There is especially an addiction if an attempt to stop these behaviours results in withdrawal symptoms such as severe cravings, irritability, restlessness or general anxiety.

While there is no one reason why people develop hypersexuality or sex addiction, there are multiple contributing factors. One of the most common is an existing mental illness such as depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder or post-traumatic stress disorder. Many people with these illnesses, especially if they are untreated, self -medicate with sexual behaviours like many do with alcohol and other drugs.

Those who have experienced sexual abuse or any other traumatic experience such as rejection or neglect are more at risk for hyper-sexuality than the general population. Some studies have also shown biological and genetic components. For example, those with an immediate family member who is already afflicted, as well as those with higher levels of testosterone or estrogen, are more likely than others to have intense and impulsive sexual behaviour and therefore develop this disorder.

The effects of Sex Addiction can be severe and even life-threatening with the most common being unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases and self-medicating with alcohol and other drugs to cope with the distress the addiction brings. If there isn’t already a contributing mental illness, the consequences of sex addiction can induce anxiety, depressive and suicidal symptoms.

Although not considered (at the moment) a mental health illness, the treatment of hyper-sexuality does not stray far off. In this case, these sexual behaviours must be treated like drugs and therefore initial abstinence is key. There are no medications specifically for sex addiction. However, if the addiction came about from an existing mental illness or it has caused one, a health professional can prescribe medication to reduce any symptoms those may bring. The best treatment for sex addiction involves counselling which can include individual, couples or general family sessions.

These sessions will help to identify triggers and what brings about these urges; Anger? Sadness? Stress? Conflict? It is extremely important to know this, as your treatment will involve ideal ways of handling these emotions or situations, in a way that will eventually not lead to unwanted sexual urges. Someone experiencing sex addiction can also use the 12-step addiction programme which means they can attend the Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous meetings I mentioned last week.

When you substitute certain words to base it on your circumstance, the programme can be just as effective. For those of you with internet access and may not be ready to seek personalised treatment, there is an online support group called SMART recovery. I should actually mention that this group works with any addiction and is not only for sex addiction. For those of you without internet access (or those who do, but still would like in person treatment), I strongly recommend going to your nearest health centre to find out where the nearest mental health professional is.

In those sessions, you will learn to manage your urges, building and managing motivation to remain abstinent and managing your unhealthy thoughts and behaviours that may have previously lead to unwanted sexual activities

In my opinion, the initial abstinence of sex is much more difficult than that of other addictions such as gambling or alcohol and other drugs. This is mainly because those behaviours or substances are not of human nature. It is not natural to crave gambling or substances but sex is a natural need for humans. Of course, there are the cases of chosen celibacy that are important and does not mean a normal life isn’t lived.

However, the craving and need for sex have been documented as a basic human need. When someone is attempting to overcome their sex addiction, abstinence (any engaging in any sexual behaviour) is key for a while, longer if you are not in a relationship. If you are, it is required to build a different kind of intimacy before returning to any kind of sexual behaviour. It takes as long as the afflicted as well as their partner to determine how long this is necessary.

Of course, like with any addiction or mental illness, a balanced life is necessary in recovery. This means eating well, sleeping well, exercise and low use of alcohol.
If someone you love is suffering from sex addiction, it may also be affecting you in all the aforementioned ways. Please do not feel like the above suggestions are only for the individual directly suffering from the disorder; any kind of addiction is a family disease.

Thanking you for reading. Please keep sending any topics you’d like to talk about to caitlinvieira@gmail.com

Say Yes to Life and No to Drugs! Always!
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