SINGLE-PARENT families can be caused either by divorce or separation, death or desertion of partner or by choice. In the traditional Guyanese setting, it is expected that the parents get married and either they live with the extended family, or they live on their own and they take care of their child or children.

The times are changing; some things change for the better and some for the worse. In this case, there has been an increase in the number of single-parent households. In fact, it is the second most common family type in the world, with women heading most of these families. Many call this a problem, the increasing numbers of single-parents; but I beg to differ. I think the way in which we look down at parenting skills; the emotional, physical and mental readiness to become a parent, as well as contraceptives and family planning are the actual problem. Conversations of parenthood are not formed before conceiving the child; formal sex education is not taught at an early age to many; and the faded beliefs in morals are all contributing factors with the exception of the death of a partner. Why is it that there are more women than men becoming single parents? Is it that we hold onto the traditional beliefs that women should be the caregivers? Or is it that we teach our males that their role of father is insignificant compared to that of the mother? I think it is very important that both parents be present for a child’s upbringing. The behavioural theory in psychology states that our learning is based on ideas in our environments. Using that, we can apply it to the outcome of children who grow up in single-parent households. In my defence, the trend will always continue. If boys learn from their fathers that it is okay to abandon their roles as fathers, and if girls learn that it is okay to accept this as normal behaviour, then we will always see an increase in single-parent families. It is not to be a fight against the genders, however; it starts with teaching our children equity and also their rights and responsibilities.

Single-parent families are oftentimes disadvantaged, socially, economically, emotionally, mentally and even physically. I’ll make a web to connect all four of these areas: if a person is working for the minimum wage of $55,000 GUY dollars and they have school fees to pay; food to lay on the table; a rent to pay and also themselves to take care of, financially that family is suffering. If there is little money, then there is little food. Physically, the health of that family is on the downside. Most single parents have no choice but to work at any given hours and jobs. In Guyana, for example, most of the single-mothers are security guards who work in the night. While the parents are away, the children are oftentimes left alone or with other family members. There is little to no time to help with proper socialisation of the children, especially if that single parent has little to no outside help from family and friends. Given all of that, do you think this family, especially the parent, is mentally and emotionally stable? I think not.

While there are exceptions to this scenario, many single-parent households are at the sinking side of the playfield. It’s not that the children end up as immoral citizens or that their parents are failures, NO. My father was brought up in a single-parent household, in poverty, and he had two older siblings with a little shade of a father’s presence, and today he is a successful and respectable citizen. My point is that it is harder on single parents. It is a struggle with the awful amount of child support along with the taboo of our society.
Meleisha Welch, a future neurologist who will be studying at York College in New York, explained how she managed to pursue her dreams despite the fact she came from a single- parent household: “Some persons may have a different experience while growing up in a single-parent family, but for me, it was hard most of the time. It was particularly hard for me, because my mother became a single parent due to the death of my father. My mother made sure that I was protected and that I was in the care of other family members most of the time. While attending high school, I saw other students having ‘nice things,’ but you know that your parent can’t afford them, so whatever little she could have provided I learned how to be satisfied. I also learned independence and how to multi-task. I had to attend school, lessons, complete school assignments, homework and study for quizzes, while completing most of the chores at home; keeping in mind that every child should help around the house, but in a single-parent family you would find yourself doing most of the chores. Sometimes I came home from school and I had a bad day or I needed a second opinion from my mother, but she wasn’t home from work as yet. At times, I felt left out when my friends talked about their parents; both their father and mother. There’s always this void no one can fill, other than that parent that’s not present. My advice to young people growing up in a single-parent family is to be very strong, brave and stay positive.

You might feel sad or feel as if you’re not being loved or comforted enough, but remember that that one parent loves you and is trying his/her best to provide everything for you. If you know a family member, friend or teacher etc. that you can trust, I advise you to share your feelings. It’s healthy to talk to someone about your feelings;learn to love yourself and make yourself happy; use every resource your parent provides; get an education and make the best of whatever little you have. My mother is a single parent, what’s your “super power?”