THE beginning of the year is always a good time to start as you mean to go on. Some people make a New Year’s resolution to change something or to try something they have never done before. Our willingness to do better for the coming year can mean that we are aware that there are areas in our lives that need improving. So let’s take a look at some areas where children tend to get a ‘raw deal’ from adults, maybe if you identify with one of them, you can make a New Year’s resolution to do better for your child or children in 2018.
Access: This is a message to all parents who are not allowing their child (or children) to see their estranged mother or father. Please think about the psychological affect this is having on your child (or children). You may not witness the damage you are causing at this stage of your development but there is a real possibility that this childhood trauma will affect your child when he/she is an adult. As a parent you may need to make sacrifices for your children and regardless of what ‘you’ may think of your ex, (or the pain you may have suffered) your child is biologically linked to that person for life and therefore has the right to have a relationship with him/her. Unless the estranged parent is a child molester or an abuser, or does not want anything to do with their child, why not try to come to an amicable arrangement for the sake of your child’s development and well-being.
Quality time: This is a message to parents whose busy lifestyles often means that they seldom spend quality time with their children: This problem affects many parents in today’s society. If you can consciously set aside some quality time for interacting with your child without interruption or distraction (e.g. mobile phones and/or television should be switched off) it would certainly help with your child’s confidence and development. During ‘quality time’ children should be encouraged to speak about (their day at school and) things that they may have experienced. And parents need to listen and pay genuine attention: exchanging information, asking questions and giving advice to their children where necessary. The next best thing to ‘quality time’ is ‘any’ time possible: For instance, you can share some meaningful conversations with your child while you’re cooking in the kitchen or when you pick him/her up from school. Parents need to ‘visit’ and ‘spend’ more time in their child’s world. This will help them to enhance their child’s development with nurturing, guidance and love.
Patience and self-control: This message is for the many frustrated parents who take out ‘their’ stress on their children by way of verbal abuse and/or beating. Every day you degrade your children in different ways and your children silently suffer as a result. Verbal abuse, which is, name calling, criticising, talking down to and belittling a child, can cause psychological damage to your child for life. Parents, you need to show respect to your child by exercising a little patience and self-control. When grown-ups make mistakes, they get away with it but when children make mistakes they get beat and some parents beat their children mercilessly. These are usually parents who were badly beaten as children themselves. For the New Year why not consider different ways to reprimand your child? There are several alternatives to verbally abusing and/or beating them. Many children are raised without getting beat. In order to provide the best childhood possible and to enable a child to develop holistically: you must analyse your actions towards your child and make the relevant changes to ‘your’ reactions and behaviour. Call the Childcare and Protection Agency and speak to a social worker for advice and information.
HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM THE CHILDCARE AND PROTECTION AGENCY, MINISTRY OF SOCIAL PROTECTION
If you are concerned about the welfare of a child you can ring the CPA hotline 227 0979 or email childcaregy@gmail.co
