TOP TUNE

JASON was an accomplished musician. He was always featured in every local show and had also done a few short overseas gigs. After playing at the local theatre to a mature audience he slung his guitar over his shoulder and headed home.

Tonight he had company. A gentleman walked with him and they chatted amicably.
“What’s up friend?” the man asked.
“Just heading home after a show,” Jason responded.
“You look like a musician, that’s your guitar?”
“Yes, just finished playing at the theatre in town,” Jason said.
“Nice. You must be a good musician.”
“I am.”
“I play music myself.” The man smiled when he spoke.
“Really?” Jason was surprised.
“Yes, I play in a rock band,” the man said.
“Well, I never played in a rock band. I am not a fan of rock,” Jason declared.
“If you’re a good musician you can play anything,” the stranger said.
“Guess you’re right.”
“Look, why not come and practice with my band tomorrow night?” The stranger’s invitation came unexpectedly.
“Sure. What time?”
They settled for 21:00hrs.

The next night, Jason arrived promptly at the house he had been directed to. It was located two villages away and had once housed a small cinema.
Jason was introduced to the other members of the band. His friend from the night before was the band leader. Harold was his name.

There was a drummer, a man playing an organ, a bass guitarist, a rhythm guitarist, a saxophonist, two singers and a specialist on shack-shack. The most unusual member of the band was an old man with most of his teeth missing. He played the harmonica.
After a noisy tune-up, the band launched into a tune. Jason listened and tried to recognise the song. He could not. He waited politely for the next number. Maybe he’d known that one. The next and the next came and went and he was still at sea. In frustration, he shouted for the band to stop. Not being the band leader himself he decided to intervene.
“Come on fellas, play something modern so that I can join wid you all,” Jason said.
“Dis band don’t play rubbish!”
Harold was angry at being interrupted.
“Look, you guys are really behind times. You know this tune? It was a Top Tune!”
Jason began playing ‘Staying Alive’ by the Bee Gees.
“NO!” the response was unanimous.
“Ok.” Jason tried again. “You know this number? Another Top Tune.” He started to jam ‘Hotel California’ by the Eagles.

“Yes! But I hate it,” was Harold’s response. “It’s too spooky for my liking.”
The harmonica player spoke up. “They spoil a good tune with jumbie runnings.”
“We never spoil a song.” This comment came from the shack- shack specialist.
Jason sighed. “You guys are good but your music is outdated maybe by a few decades well.”

“Well that’s wat we played. A good musician should be able to play anything.” Harold began packing up his instrument, the others were already doing so.
“We gone!” he said to Jason. Then things got really wild. The rock band packed up their instruments and walked through the wall.
Jason dropped his instrument and made a big hole in the wall.
Giddy-up!

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