Hello Everyone
I hope this week has treated you well.
Tuesday coming is Valentine’s Day and therefore I would like to speak about love and its importance.

I would like to get this out of the way now – love causes many hardships. No one (especially not me) disputes that. Love can make us feel very sad, angry, confused and so many other undesired emotions. Love can result in agony, depression and even suicide. We know this- it elicits the most powerful emotions.
However, sometimes we tend to overlook or forget the other side – the extremely happy one. The feeling that distinguishes from every day contentment. The side that has both mental and physical benefits. This is what I would like to focus on today.

To all the people who dislike Valentine’s Day – I hear you, we all hear you and you are entitled to your opinion- but allow the rest of us to enjoy it.
Of course we should show our love to our partners every day but Valentine’s Day has evolved in a way that encourages us to be more affectionate, kind and loving today than any other day. I will start showing my partner all of the above by dedicating this piece to him. Every day, you make me want to be better.

Like anything else, there are many definitions of love. We tend to choose which definition (of a word) relates to us more. “When the happiness, security, and well-being of another person is as real or more to you than your own, you love that person”- Harry Sullivan’s definition is my understanding of love. Your definition might be different and therefore your actions would be different to my own.

Love manifests itself in different ways, all of which are necessary and useful. A lot of what we do is centred around love- and we don’t even realise it. We celebrate birthdays and promotions because we love the individual. We are patient because we are willing to do whatever it takes, for ever long it takes for the ones we love. Helping to simply ease burdens is out of love. Forgiveness, patience and even confrontation is done purely out of love.

One thing I believe I learned too late in life is the process of love. Love isn’t taught, it’s transmitted. We love to way we were loved; we express love the way it was expressed to us. This then brings out the question- Is there an unhealthy way of loving someone? I believe there are as many ways of loving as there are people and yes, some of them can be unhealthy. However, like I said, I am choosing to focus on the positive today. When that certain way of love is transmitted to us, we can take that wherever we like. We are not bound to exert the same love we received- we are simply more likely to do it.

One of my favourite quotes is “love is a drug and everyone is a junkie”. Why? Because love may not be a drug but it certainly feels like one. It provides a high unlike any drug you have experienced. It elicits a serious craving and then withdrawal pattern when not being in the presence of the one you love. You isolate yourselves from the world.

Frankly, it’s addictive which is why we are lucky that it actually provides physical and mental health benefits.
Being in love causes physical symptoms on our bodies. We experience our heart racing, butterflies in the stomach, anxiety, nervousness etc. But you feel these symptoms in the best of ways. Love helps to cope with and reduce stress. It gives us extra support, someone to confide in and offer advice. People generally tend to live healthier lifestyles while in relationships. When people care about you, they care about your health and well-being.

Therefore, they are likely to encourage you to drink less alcohol, stop smoking, and eat healthier. Love causes over-all better hygiene. Many people don’t like to admit this but I know many people who go to sleep without showering or brushing their teeth. However, if there partner is there, you better believe they do all of that and more- even just for show.
Studies show that that extra support that only a partner can give results in higher success rates of treatment in illnesses such as cancer and addiction. Sometimes we don’t have the strength to do things for ourselves. Our feelings of self-confidence, self-worth and motivation are low. So we do things for those we love instead. A substance dependent person is much more likely to come off of drugs if they have a loving partner. That kind of support is unparalleled

Over all, many studies prove that people in loving, long-term relationships have longer average life spans than those that are not.
Mentally, love increases our self-confidence and feelings of self-worth. We are less self-conscious as we have someone who loves us for us. Our moods automatically improve when they are around. We are more self-less as this love encourages us to sometimes cater to this individual more than we cater to ourselves. Our minds are more at ease because we know we have that extra, unwavering support when needed. Loves encourages us to be more open minded. We open up to new things that our partners enjoy or care about.

This can range from anything to trying a new television show to experiencing an entirely different culture. Keep in mind that being open minded naturally results in higher coping skills as well as levels of resilience. Love allows for a more social life- you meet many new people when in a relationship. This improves our communication and overall people skills which directly affects our productivity and efficiency levels.
Analysing all the above, it is safe to say that love is ALSO capable of lowering depression and the possibility of suicidal thoughts.

Now, the benefits of celebrating days like Valentine’s Day are just as numerous. You can never go wrong with showing the person you love, that you love them. Celebrate the fact that you have something special.

If you do not have love in your life right now, that is okay too. Do not underestimate the power of familial love and friendship. If you have lost love, do not give up hope. This gives you a chance to start a whole new chapter and experience all the above benefits in a completely different way.

Thanking you for reading. Please keep sending any topics you’d like to talk about to caitlinvieira@gmail.com Or come in to see me at:

Georgetown Public Hospital: Psychiatric Department:
Monday- Friday – 8am- 12pm

Woodlands Hospital: Outpatient Department
Drug and Alcohol group meetings – Mondays 4:15
Good mental health group meetings- Wednesdays 4:15
Suicide Prevention Helpline numbers: 223-0001, 223-0009, 623-4444, 600-7896

Say Yes to Life and No to Drugs! Always