Hello Everyone,
I hope this week has treated you well. Since today is Mother’s Day, I decided to write on its importance and on a mother – child relationships in relation to mental health. I’d also like to dedicate this piece to my own mother, Tracy Vieira, who’s been there for me more times than I could ever write about. So, how did Mother’s Day come about?
It was first celebrated in 1908 by a woman named Anna Jarvis who at the time held a memorial service for her mother who had passed away. She also trademarked the phrase “second Sunday in May” where it is annually celebrated in over 46 countries around the world. However, it is important to note that it isn’t always celebrated on this day. For example, in England, Mother’s Day is in March. [box type=”shadow” align=”alignright” width=”300px” ]If you’re not great with words, read this poem to your mom/ secondary mothers. It is one that is very special to me as it reminds me of the relationship I have with mine:

More Than A Mother by Kari Keshmiry
When God set the world in place,
when He hung the stars up in space,
when He made the land and the sea,
then He made you and me.
He sat back and saw all that was good,
He saw things to be as they should.
Just one more blessing He had in store;
He created a mother, but whatever for?
He knew a mother would have a special place
to shine His reflection on her child’s face.
A mother will walk the extra mile
just to see her children smile.
She’ll work her fingers to the bone
to make a house into a home.
A mother is there to teach and guide,
a mother will stay right by your side.
She’ll be there through your pain and strife,
she’ll stay constant in your life.
A mother will lend a helping hand
until you have the strength to stand.
She’ll pick you up when you are down,
when you need a friend she’ll stick around.
A mother is one who listens well,
will keep her word; will never tell.
A mother never pokes or pries
but stands quietly by your side,
giving you the strength you need,
encouraging you to succeed.
A mother is one who can be strong
when you need someone to lean on.
You’re more than a mother to me;
a reflection of Him in your face I see,
a love that knows no boundaries.
I’m glad that you chose to be
all this and more to me.
You share a love that knows no end,
you’re more than my mother,
you are my friend.[/box]

Why is it important to celebrate?
Truthfully, I cannot think of a more thankless job; I should say jobs, as mothers are usually also chefs, alarms, pharmacies/ nurses/ doctors, nannies, drivers, guards, teachers, cleaners and so much more. It has no pay raises and no vacations, and usually very little notice. A mother is expected to be there at all times.
The truth is, and you don’t have to be a mother to know this, but mothers need encouragement too. They need to know how important they are and the good job they are doing. That’s what today (but truthfully every day) is for.
The mother and child relationship is undoubtedly one of the most important. It is our mom that teaches us how to nurture and love.

There is the attachment theory proposed by John Bowlby in 1958 which suggests that a child’s emotional, physical and cognitive development depends on the relationship with their mother.

A child does not feel safe or secure unless in the presence of his/her mother. The attachment theory proposes that babies form attachments easily- first to the mother who feeds them but also to other comforting items such as teddy bears or blankets. The mother/child relationship will determine how serious these other attachments are.
For example, a child who does not receive good comfort from the mother will gravitate to the comforting items for a longer period. These are the ones who are attached to their toys until an unusual age.

In regards to addiction, the theory believes that these children are the ones who will most likely grow up with a substance abuse problem- switching their coping mechanism from toys to drugs. Therefore, the relationship is a lot more important to our development and general well- being than we think.

I would also like to give a shout out to all the secondary mothers out there. You know who you are. You are the ones who love, guide and protect other children as your own. I’m lucky to have countless of these inspirational women in my life. They too deserve praise and kind words today (and every day)
We tend to take our mothers for granted as we believe a mother is “supposed” to be happy doing all these things as we hear that being a mother is one of the most rewarding jobs there is.
However, it’s time we take the day for them. Let’s cook and clean for them, treat them today and make sure to let them know how much you love and appreciate them. I’m very grateful to be given the opportunity today to show my mother just how much she means to me. What are you going to do with yours?
Thank you for reading. Please continue to write in to caitlinvieira@gmail.com OR come in to see me at Woodlands Hospital. For issues with drug and alcohol – Monday’s at 4:30. For general mental health issues- Wednesday’s at 4:30 in the outpatient department.
Say Yes to Life and No to Drugs! Always!