It is not often highlighted, but men are also victims of domestic violence and not strange at all, they are generally accused of all manner of things.
This matter was highlighted when the Guyana Business Coalition for Health Awareness (GBCHA) hosted a peer educator workshop on Tuesday last on domestic violence.
The lively interaction held at the Edward Beharry office on Charlotte Street, Georgetown attracted participation from a number of private sector entities, with all the participants sharing their views on the subject.

The forum which was made up of mostly women, heard that men are also at the receiving end when it comes to physical abuse. The most of it comes in slaps.
And when it is not slaps, it is a sound tongue-lashing, or a combination of both, sometimes based purely on accusation.
It has been a long held belief that women are the chief instigators of domestic violence and men tend to explode violently when pushed repeatedly by their partners.
The latter reportedly happens because men are usually in the habit of ‘storing-up’ their anger to the point where it becomes difficult for them to manage.
Many men who do not react violently keep close to God, constantly seeking divine intervention.
University of Guyana (UG) lecturer in the Women’s Study Unit, Audrey Benn, speaking at a recent violence against women symposium, said “We cannot bury our heads in the sand and appear as if we don’t have a problem,” while pointing out that men are also victims of domestic violence.
THE EVIDENCE
According to Benn, in 2010, the number of reported cases from males was 1,673; in 2011, it increased with 2,887 reports; in 2012, there was a slight decrease of 2,761.
But in 2013 and 2014, abused men somewhat breathe a sigh of relief. There was a dramatic decrease with 749 reports which continued in 2014 with 603 reported cases of domestic abuse.
According to Benn, the abuse of men takes many of the same forms as it does against women – physical violence, intimidation and threats; sexual, emotional, psychological, verbal and financial abuse; property damage and social isolation.
Many men experience multiple forms of abuse. Men, more so than women, can also experience legal and administrative abuse – the use of institutions to inflict further abuse on a victim, for example, taking out false restraining orders or not allowing the victim access to his children.
According to Benn, male victims can be falsely arrested and removed from their homes because of the assumption that because he is a male, he must be a perpetrator and not a victim. When this happens, children can be left unprotected from the perpetrator of the violence, leading many men to suffer the abuse in silence in an attempt to protect their children.
During the discussion, it was also brought out that the action of men could be misinterpreted. Using a specific example, one of the participants pointed out that the woman carrying the groceries to the counter but the man paying is an abuse. The man is seen as exercising tight control over the money to the extent that he sees only himself as competent to use it.
GOOD SEEN AS BAD

Some of the participants contended that this is not necessarily so as the man is merely playing a complementary role. It could also be a case where the man keeps the money since he is the most capable partner to fend off a robber.
This is not the only misinterpretation of men. Some of the participants were of the view that a man looking at a woman constitutes an abuse. Not so, said some others, who stressed that if the man is ogling the woman, then yes, but like any other person, a man has a right to look at everything in his presence.
One participant was more sharp and to the point, stressing that “nothing is wrong in looking at the beautiful furniture in the stores”. It was also noted that some women can be a bit bias in the sense that if a man looks at a woman, there are those who will say it is an abuse. “But what do you call it when women look at men in the same way?” one male participant asked.
WHY SULK
The forum was also told that persons should not greave too much at the loss of a partner who walks out of a relationship, since the loss is really with the partner who is leaving unjustly.
And because of the advancement and independence of women in society, it has forced some men to check themselves before they wreck themselves.
It was noted that men today cannot threaten to leave their partners and seek out others because “the women will exercise their equal rights”.
With these varying situations in mind, all at the forum emphasised the importance of love, tolerance, respect and strong communication to build healthy relationships.
Domestic violence is not healthy for the family, society and country as a whole. The vast majority of victims of domestic violence are women. Many have died as a result of domestic violence. The forum also heard that apart from kicks, punches and slaps, abusers also bite, pinch and head-butt their victims.
The workshop which featured discussions and role play sought to increase participants’ knowledge of domestic violence; their ability to be advocates against domestic violence; and to equip them with the necessary tools to conduct domestic violence education sessions within their workplaces.
By Tajeram Mohabir

 
***USE image saved as: Women abuser