Priest walking through a forest
One day, a priest was walking through a forest, when he came upon a pond. On the pond was a lily-pad, and on the lily-pad was the saddest frog the priest had ever seen!“Dear frog” the priest asked, “what is the matter? Why are you so sad?”

“Well,” said the frog, “I was not always a frog.”
“Tell me more” said the priest.
“One day, I was walking through these woods when I came upon a wicked witch. ‘Stand aside witch,’ I said to her. But alas, she called me a nasty cheeky boy and turned me into a frog.”
“But that’s terrible! Isn’t there anything that can be done to reverse the spell?” asked the priest.
“Well” said the frog, “if a kind person were to take me home for the night, feed me and put me to sleep on their pillow, I am sure I would wake up human again.”
“Well, this is your lucky day!” said the priest.
So he took the frog home, fed him and put him to sleep on his pillow. And lo and behold, when he woke up the next morning, there was a 10-year-old choir boy in his bead!

Physician, engineer and attorney in discussion
A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented.
The physician said: “Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession.”
The engineer replied: “But, before that, God created the heavens and earth from chaos and confusion, and thus he was the first engineer. Therefore, engineering is an older profession than medicine.”
Then, the lawyer spoke up. “Yes,” he said, “But who do you think created all of the chaos and confusion?”

Some lawyer objects
“You seem to be in some distress,” said the kindly judge to the witness. “Is anything the matter?”
“Well, Your Honour,” said the witness, “I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but every time I try, some lawyer objects.”

Guy comes back from the toilet
This guy comes back from the toilet, when a woman says to him, “Hey, you have left your GARAGE door open!”
As the man is zipping his fly up, he says with a big smile, “Did you see my big black hummer?”
The woman replies, “Nope just a MINI COOPER with two flat tires.”

A nice lady in a short skirt
A nice lady in a short skirt walks up to a policeman on the street and says, “I have a problem.”
The policeman asked her what it is, she points to a man across the street and says, “See that man?”
The policeman replies, “Yes, is he watching you?”
She replies, ” NO!, that is the problem!”