The deep look in his eyes, the passion left her almost breathless, and softly, she spoke, “Raj…”He put a finger to her lips, gently and he said just as softly, “Just listen to my heartbeats, what it’s saying, I’m your Shanti.”
The moon seemed to smile and the stars twinkled even brighter as their love story, turned a new page. An endless night of passion and bliss, in a world where they were all alone, where she had waited for him, a beautiful world.
The magic of their love in the days and nights after could not be broken, not by the many disguised obstacles, strewn in Raj’s path or the poison arrows aimed at Shanti by Raj’s aristocratic family.
This poor girl was not supposed to win their son’s heart; he could not belong to her but to a rich girl of their choice with the class and sophistication of a princess. So blinded they were by their obsession with status and wealth they could not see the poor girl’s richness, that made her the real princess.
Raj’s love for her-the passion of their closeness was something he wanted in his life forever and he knew he had to find a way to make that dream, a reality. But his regular business trips overseas, imposed on him by his father left her alone, unprotected and a lethal arrow found it’s mark, before the designs of his plans for their lives together was completed.
Shanti woke up one Sunday morning, two days after he had left on another trip, feeling dizzy and nauseous. She couldn’t understand what caused the illness that persisted all day until her mother, who had been watching her closely, voiced her suspicion.
“You may want to see a doctor.”
“Why?” Shanti felt like crying, “Why am I feeling so sick?”
“Because you might be pregnant.”
Shanti looked at her, shocked, speechless for a long moment.
“Oh my God!” she exclaimed, her hand instinctively touching her abdomen and she relaxed as a blessed feeling flowed through her body, a smile touching her lips.
“I can’t believe this has happened so soon,” she said to herself, thrilled after the doctor had confirmed the news. “I wonder what Raj would say.”
She tried her best when at work to control the sick feelings, not wanting it to arouse anyone’s suspicion.
She sent no message to Raj on the wonderful news, wanting to wait for a special moment when they were alone. He would be back soon, she knew, but as the days passed, unknowing to her, her mother and step-father were plotting how to benefit from this new turn of events.
Two weeks and three days later, as she continued to battle with the increasing morning sickness, Shanti was summoned by Raj’s mother and father. Fear entered her heart and she prayed as she walked to the study, “Please, God, don’t let them know about this.”
But it was too late for God’s intervention.
The cold anger in Raj’s parents faces was enough to tell Shanti, they knew.
The mother spoke first: “How often have I not reminded you of your position as a maid, of your low status, unworthy of my son? You thought it would benefit you greatly to let something like this happen?”
The fear in Shanti’s heart worsened and she felt scared in their presence, of their anger, not sure how they knew.
“Your mother and step-father were here yesterday,” Raj’s father informed her and they felt we could be saved the embarrassment of an illegitimate child, if we are willing to pay a price, so it can be aborted.
“What?” the shock and dismay Shanti felt was like a dagger through her heart, “No I don’t know anything of what you’re saying.”
“We don’t care what you know or how you feel,” he continued heartlessly, “You have no status. You’re like the dust we walk on, so in the best interest of our family we do not want that baby to be born.”
He put a few packets of money on the table, in front of her and said: “This is half of a million dollars, you take that and leave. You do not return and you have nothing more to do with my son.”
Shanti looked at the money, unable to hold back the tears, her lips trembling, feeling as though the earth had fallen away beneath her feet. She wiped the tears from her eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to summon courage to speak for herself and her unborn child.
“Do you think that’s enough for a life?” she asked.
“How much do you want?” the mother asked, icy hatred in her eyes.
“You don’t have enough money to pay me.” Shanti said bravely: “A life is a blessing from God, it’s priceless.”
She turned and walked away, knowing she would never return here, ending one chapter of her life story. She knew Raj would be happy for the baby but deep down, she was fearful he could fold under pressure from his dictatorial family. She felt unhappy, scared and betrayed.
“How could my own mother do this to me?” she questioned herself.
On reaching home, Shanti looked at the woman who was willing to sell her own children for money and she told her: “I can’t hate you, I just pity you because you’re lost. I hope you find your way back for the sake of your sons.”
Three days later, Shanti awoke in the night, thirsty and went downstairs for a glass of water when she heard low voices outside.
She went closer to the window and stood by the curtains, listening, wondering who could be there so late. A strange voice was saying: “The boss has sent a message to you, not to cross him if you value your life and your family. You must do the job for the money you and your wife took. Your step-daughter has to lose the baby before Raj returns.”
Shanti put her hand over her mouth to stop the shocked gasp.
Her stepfather and mother had taken payment to kill her baby!
She couldn’t sleep for the rest of the night wondering what to do and fearful now for her life and Raj’s return had become delayed by another week. By dawn an idea occurred to her and searching through a box under her bed, she found an old card with a doctor’s name and address. For her plan to work she asked her mother to accompany her to the doctor’s clinic but once there, Shanti requested her to wait outside. The doctor was a woman whom Shanti had once worked for and in the clinic, she relayed to her, her problems and fears. Her desire was to keep the baby but she wanted it to be known the baby was no more. The doctor, who was indebted to the young girl for her kind act two years ago, complied with her request.
It meant Shanti couldn’t stay at her home or in the neighbourhood anymore.
She had to leave but go where? The doctor advised her to go far away and gave her the name and address of someone who could help her.
It broke her heart to leave her two brothers alone but they promised her, they would take good care of themselves until she returned. The lust for money had caused the separation of a sister from her brothers. It hurt even more that she had to leave to save an innocent life and the father of her baby knew nothing. She couldn’t leave a message for him with anyone, to say where she was going, not sure who she could trust. She just hoped he could come looking for her and find her.
The address the doctor had given her was a Help & Shelter institution, across three rivers-a far way from home.
Not one day passed without her thinking of Raj as the baby grew, not one night passed without her crying before she fell asleep. That wonderful period of her life came closer for the baby to be born. He was not there to share that joy with her. The labour pains came when the stars were bright in the sky, just like that first night when the passion of their love had taken them beyond the world to a most beautiful place. But tonight, as the pains gripped her he was not there with her. She was all alone, just his name on her lips.
It has been three years now since that night her son was born.
The alarm clock at her bedside awoke her at three in the morning and Shanti sat up, sighing deeply, the tiredness not gone from her body. She began her day, early every day to finish the food preparations in time for the market, to say her prayers and give Arun his bath and breakfast. She was brushing his hair one morning when he asked in his sweet, childish voice,
“Momma, when is dada coming?”
Her hand froze, a pained look flickering in her eyes and she hugged him so he couldn’t see how that innocent question had hurt her.
“Sometime soon,” she answered, not sure herself of the answer.
“Did he love you, momma?”
She looked at her son, tears misting in her eyes, for this time her answer was true.
“Yes, he did.”
He held her face between his little hands, lovingly and he said: “Because you’re pretty.”
She laughed and hugged him, “You’re so adorable.”
Her son’s question played in her mind, every day and she wished she knew the answer so she wouldn’t have to give him false hopes.
“I miss you so much Raj.” She whispered.
Raj stood in the balcony of his bedroom, looking at nothing. He felt so empty inside, his heart like a barren dessert, no spring water or fragrant roses.
He had returned with great plans for their future but the shocking news of what happened and the fact that she was gone had hit him like a freak storm. It was hard to believe his father that Shanti took payment to abort the child. That wasn’t his Shanti. He knew she would be happy as much as he was to have their baby but then her mother told him about Shanti’s visit to the doctor’s clinic, he was left puzzled.
Something wasn’t right; something was wrong somewhere and he knew in his heart he had to find her.
The doctor refused to disclose any information but that did not deter him. He hired a few private detectives and gave them her picture, “This is a job, only you and I know of. I want you to find her at any cost.”
He demoted himself from the managing director position in his father’s company, so he wouldn’t have to travel overseas on business meetings.
“I want to be here,” he told himself, “for when she is found.”
Three torturous years went by for him, nights when he couldn’t sleep, days where he sat lost in thoughts, thinking about her.
“I miss you so much, Shanti,” he said quietly, “Where are you?”
A rap on the door interrupted his thoughts and the elderly maid announced.
“A detective from the city is here to see you, Sir.”
“Oh dear Lord,” Raj prayed as he hurried downstairs, “Please let this be good news.”
The detective handed Raj Shanti’s picture, an expressionless look on his face.
“Tell me you have good news,” Raj said, almost pleading.
The detective didn’t answer for a moment then he smiled, clapping Raj on the shoulder, “I found her.”
Shanti sat in the Mandir, Arun in her lap, listening to the divine songs and prayers but somehow she couldn’t concentrate. Something was different today, she didn’t know what but since morning she had been feeling a strange thrill in her heart. She lifted Arun in her arms, at the end of the service and walked home, slowly, not noticing the white Allion parked in the street nor the person who stepped out until he called her name.
“Shanti.”
Shanti froze at the gate, a voice she hadn’t heard in three years, a voice that she missed so much and was waiting with each passing day to hear again. She turned around slowly, her son in her arms, joy overflowing in her heart, tears in her eyes.
“Raj!” She called his name.
Happiness, like a rushing stream through her being on seeing him.
He looked at her and their son, tears rolling down his face.
“I was searching for you, so long, Shanti.”
He hugged her and their son, he did not know of: “I knew you would keep our baby,” he said, his voice breaking with overpowering emotion, “I knew it in my heart.”
“I’ve been waiting with the hope you would find me,” she said through her tears.
They were both crying and Arun, not quite understanding what was happening, put his little arms around them both, hugging them.
Later that night, they put their son to bed, looking at his sleeping, angelic face, the symbol of their love.
“He’s such a sweet child,” Raj said, “He would know what a special child he is when he grows up and understands the sacrifices his mother made to bring him into this world.”
He took Shanti’s hands and kissed them, “If I never told you how much I love you then I’ll say it to you every day from now.”
He slipped a diamond ring on her finger and said to her softly, words he had waited three years to say, “I want you to be my wife, to share my life.”
She looked at her baby’s father, her prayers answered, a beautiful moment from life, touching her, reuniting her with her happiness and with her lips close to his she whispered, “I love you, so much.”
He lifted her in his arms, their love story to continue, page after page.

(By Maureen Rampertab)