With great concern I read the story of the ten-year-old North Sophia lad who had a near brush with death after attempting suicide. The media then went to work to unearth the real facts and soon found out that this was a classic case of abuse of a stepchild which caused the lad to want to take his own life. Hardly a day went by that the mother of the injured lad was not out swinging accusations at the media for publishing what she called an erroneous report of abuse because, as she puts it “the boy was just horsing around.”
Well, this is quite a different story coming from his mother: Her story has as its central theme – a malicious press who wants to incriminate her common-law husband for ill-treating the 10-year-old- and for this she is most upset. Quite an interesting response from that mother!
Now, the red lights in my head began flashing when I read her response to the media report on the matter and here’s my reason: Why would a lad of ten years want to commit suicide? Secondly, why didn’t the stepfather come out with a statement on the matter; after all he is the one that is accused of ill-treating the youngster? Why is the mother doing all the talking? Why is she speaking so loudly when accusations were not levelled against her? There is something radically wrong about that story she is giving.
You see, dear readers, this is the situation we are confronted with in these domestic abuse situations where the woman, in this case a mother, is willing to sacrifice her son for an abusive spouse. She is willing to live in denial to the bitter end that a situation of abuse does not occur in that house. And this is very dangerous business because that little boy, as well as his blabbering mother’s life is at risk from an abusive spouse. This is precisely the point we are making, that is, “this living in denial factor”, which certainly leads down a dangerous road that ultimately takes the lives of those involved. If one should look deep into the Cruz case in the North West District you get the murderous reality of this weird kind of thinking, that man incinerated his entire family because of his wife’s failure to deal with a spouse who was a bully and an abuser. She shielded him while he brutally abused and controlled that entire household. Therefore, when he thought in his head that there was no other alternative left he locked them in and savagely burned the house down. Now I read of all the mumbo jumbo excuses of the police not being prompt in response to the desperate cries for help coming from the little 12-year-old daughter, but I would rather go with the trusted theory of a battered woman trying to keep things “hush hush” and pretend that he is not violent. Can you tell me how a grown woman could stay quiet and allow a man to lock them in then douse the house with gasoline and light it afire, and not for one instant resist him and run away or scream to the top of her lungs for help? Why should a 12-year-old have to do the work of the adult? Further, why should the police be blamed when the mother was not in the least serious about having her abuser punished?
So this is the situation confronting us today, women who live in denial. I am thankful that the youngster is out of danger and would be well on the way to full recovery. The next step is for the Child Care and Protective Agency (CCPA) to question that youngster thoroughly and possibly get him out of that horrible situation. I know that there are trained people in that agency who are going to get the truth out of him. Guyana can ill afford to have our future generation scarred, battered and demoralised all because some foolish women want to live their miserable lives in denial.
NEIL ADAMS