I was about to write an article on a totally different subject matter when a letter penned by Lurlene Nestor in the Stabroek News caught my eye. In her letter she wrongfully accused me of of a few things, chief of which is putting the blame on single-parent homes. This can’t be further from the truth because first and foremost single parents and single-parent homes are a fact of life or something we have to live with. The point I was making and she certainly missed it, is the institution home as we know it, “home” in its truest sense has lost its purpose that is home training the type of “upbringing” that makes a child someone worth taking his/her place in society.
That institution or should I say system has vastly eroded to the point where one speaks of home in nebulous terminology. Let me forcefully bring to you the concept of “home training” there are things you would do without thinking at your home – single parent or normal home – whereas, that instinctive principle evident at grandma’s home prevented you from even fantasising with the idea. The reason being grandma instills in you home training or grandma has standards. I deliberately used the grandma, female single-parent training scenario to prove the point that disciplining or training is not a “home” thing or a male domain only, it can and is done in many a matriarchal setting. In fact, in the setting mentioned above the whip is hardly ever used the mere thought of the consequence factor and the teen is leveled into compliance; this is a naked truth about training say what you mean and mean what you say. However, training today has taken on a whole new meaning, values, morals or boundaries are not instilled in the child, these concepts are considered archaic, a term Nestor uses, only vaguely revisited when another teen murder takes place.
Speaking of boundaries, in the old school the traditionalists believed flogging was the “only way’ note the only way a child could respect this virtue; swift administering of it in copious amounts forcefully brought home the message to the out of place youngster.
The modernists, with their psychology believes that the child should be told let me say begged into believing he is doing this. Well, there has been an awful lot of begging or cajoling of teenagers today and where are we? In the United States alone where children have been brought up in this enlightened era of sociological thought we see an ever increasing number of gruesome teen murders. Could someone give me a sensible answer for this?
We here in Guyana has had our fair share of such morbid happenings also. When a teen takes a knife and aims for the heart or the jugular or shoots to the head then let’s not pretend that you do not know what will be the result. So let me remain a traditionalist, of course with a touch of psychology, than a pure modernist.
She then called on the church and the government to help the youth but here again let me bring Miss Nestor back to reality schools, social clubs and churches are in abundance but what is the reality? There are kids who do not attend school or when they do little is done by way of learning or when the child comes home no guidance questions like what have you done at school today? Or let me see your homework? Speak to the school teachers and you get the chilling response of kids who are just hanging around school with little or no books and certainly no homework to show. That child would otherwise be engaged in gang training on the block with friends of questionable character. He is learning how to use a gun, how to steal that Blackberry phone, how to sell drugs to “earn” a living. Staying on the topic of selling drugs, I once threw out the question what you would like to be when you leave school? And you were surprised to hear the answer “sell drugs.” It was that pure and simple and the startling thing the girls are in it too; they are infatuated with these guys referring to them as “cool dudes.”
Even more revealing is the fact that some of the children from the so called “good homes” favour the idea. Those from rich homes are the barons and those from poor homes are the mules. The rich kids will go to rehab if it is necessary and the poor ones are either in jail, roaming the streets as junkies or in public psychiatric care. This is the modern society we are building.
Here in St Lucia where the situation has become so grave the government had to revive the truancy laws picking them up during and after school hours when they are found loitering or in places where they should not be. There are truancy laws on the books in Guyana also which should be revisited, but I hasten to say when this comes into effect people like Nestor who hates the police and have a political axe to grind would be the first to outlaw the move.
Let me conclude by saying youths must learn a skill, learn to sing learn to play musical instruments, learn pan. There is gainful employment with these skills. Look at the lives of positive role models go to the gym, play football, cricket, cycling, try boxing, use up that aggression there. Go to church, join a church club. When I say go to church I am not saying go there for charitable handouts only, which seems to be the norm these days, but go to church for spiritual and moral upbringing. That’s what life is about. Put systems in place; enforce systems to restore the community to a place where we can safely live.