-be role models in their children’s lives
FATHERS play a very important role in their children’s lives, or at least, they should. There’s just something about dads that when they walk into a room, just their presence command respect. It is very important for fathers to be the respectable figure their children believe them to be. There are several things that showcase good and respectable fathers.
For those of you on the brink of becoming a father, congratulations are in order. And those of you who wish to be a better father, I wish you all the very best. The lesson of how to be a good father is synonymous with how to be a responsible human being.

Preparing for fatherhood is a balancing act that is unparalleled with anything you would ever do in life. It is being tender, yet tough at times; being protective, without smothering your child; being a good mentor, without being controlling; and letting your children be independent, yet being there for them. As you can see, it is not going to be easy. Having the responsibility for the development of a person is not easy.

To be a good father is a journey in self-discovery, and the greatest lesson of your life. It is an opportunity to pass on all that is good in you, and see a tender new life blossoming under your care. You are going to learn more from your child than you learned from anyone else ever.

You have been on the other side before, that is, you have been a son. Now it is time for a role reversal as you are a father now. It is time to unlearn a lot, and learn a lot more along the way. Do not blindly give your children the same treatment, just because you got the same from your mother and father. Recognize the good of what they did, and also identify the misguided parts. Pass on whatever good there was, and I am sure there was a lot. Forget and forgive the misguided parts of your upbringing, if there was any. Make sure you do not repeat it with your children. As you face your own difficulties of raising your own child, you will appreciate your father and mother more for how they put up with you.
Unconditional love is the prime ingredient for being a good father. You do not have to work at bringing this out; it’s always there in you, just let it flow out. Do not withhold love under a false exterior of appearing to be tough or be a man. Let your child feel loved. It is very essential that your child learns how to take in love and give out love. If he is deprived of that, then it will create problems for him later when he is connecting with the world outside. When a child grows up seeing and feeling the love between you, your wife, and other children, he will learn to love too.
Enjoy the process of nurturing a new personality and seeing a new person take shape. You have to be a child yourself again to connect with your child. See the world anew through their eyes, and let your own perceptions change. Right from changing nappies to dropping your children to school, you will relive your entire childhood. Be your child’s best friend and protector. There is something very satisfying and fulfilling in being a father. That feeling you can only understand when you see your child for the first time: It’s ecstatic! It is also scary and wonderful, all at the same time. So enjoy the process of developing your child.
Embrace and grow with it. It is time to shed your careless ways and realize that one more person depends on you now. Whatever you and your wife do, your child is top priority. Think twice before taking rash decisions. In short, remember that you have to put your children before you.

A child’s mind is like clay: It is very impressionable, and every action of yours around them is going to influence the formation of their psyche. A new personality is taking shape in front of you, so be careful how you shape it. Do things in such a way that there is no doubt in the mind of the child as to what is the right thing to do. Share responsibilities with your wife, and plan things together regarding your child’s life. Be conscious about the health concerns of your child. Leave no stone unturned.
Work is no excuse for not being there when your child needs you. What use is the money you earn, when the people who you earn it for are deprived of your presence when they need it. It’s all about priorities in life. Once you marry and have your child, you must think of them first. Yes, it is important to earn material comforts for your child. However, just buying big and costly toys is not your only responsibility as a father. A toy can be hugged, but it cannot hug back. For a child, people are more important than having material things. Remember that, and do not allow your child to grow up to be insensitive.

Good values and good education are the greatest gifts you can give a child. Ensure that she/he gets the best schooling possible. Teach them by example how lying is wrong; how hurting people is wrong; and how respecting people is right. The child, especially a son, needs to learn to respect women. The lessons for that will be taken from how you treat your wife, your daughters, and your mother. Be stern, and criticize your child when he does something wrong, but do so in private. Do not insult them to the point where he or she cannot overcome the guilt. Teach your child that it’s okay to make mistakes, but not to repeat them.
Obedience in a child is a virtue, but not meekness and conformism. Encourage curiosity and independent thinking. Explain things to children as logically as possible. Do not reinforce false beliefs. Encourage reading and playing sports. Talk to your child, and create an atmosphere where they can feel free to discuss problems. Let them question your methods and thinking. Children are the most honest critics, and you will get a lot of insight from them, I am sure. Treat their opinions with respect, and do not ridicule them. Teach them to reason things out. This may iron out some of the stubbornness in them. Go fishing, hiking or camping with your child and show them the wonders of nature. No matter how busy your schedule is, let there be a large portion of time that is exclusively devoted to your child. Having fun is an essential part of growth in a child’s life. Have fun together as a family, and you will stay a family.
There are bound to be situations, where you may have to be strict and stern when the child is unreasonable. Reprimand them, with straightforward words, when you find something unacceptable. Make it crystal clear that it should not be repeated and tell them the consequences of their actions. Beating a child never brings out good results in short or long term. Let the child bloom into their personality. Give them opportunities to test his strength in the real world. Let them learn to take their decisions on their own. Trust them with jobs and give them responsibility. This will build up self esteem in your child.

You cannot decide the destiny of your child. Every child is different and comes with inborn gifts. Do not try to mold her in your image and do not expect her to trace your footsteps. Nurture your child and provide all the opportunities you can. Put the pros and cons in front of a child and leave the decisions up to them. Do not force your child into something when you realize it’s not conducive to their inborn talents. Do not kill your child’s dreams, but embrace them and nurture them. Let the child know that you are always there behind her for support. Do not use the carrot and stick practice with children. So mentor them, but do not manipulate and control them.

Things may go wrong and the child may land themselves into trouble. Never give up on them. Be there to encourage and be their source of confidence and strength. Believe and trust in them to pull out of whatever trouble they are in. Do not ignore your children, ever.

As the child grows up to adulthood, be their friend, philosopher, and guide. Let your relationship evolve with time and be transformed into friendship. Let the child benefit from your experience and wisdom and you benefit from the freshness of their spirit. There is no perfect way to become a good father and life is perhaps the best teacher you can have. No matter what happens, do not let your ego come in the way of reaching out to your children.

You will realize how good a father you were one day, when your son or daughter will beat you at your own game and surprise you with his or her ingenuity. What you sow, you reap. Nothing can be more satisfying, than seeing your son or daughter fulfil your most ambitious dreams, but it’s more satisfying to bring up good human beings. One day you will realize that it was not you who carried the child; it was the child who carried you. These are some of my thoughts about, how to be a good father, which may benefit you.