MY HUSBAND and I have only been married a couple of months, but we’ve been together three years. When we were fairly new, he asked me how many sexual partners I had. I was shocked he asked. I didn’t care about his number, so I didn’t know why he was asking about mine. I told him an untrue number, and that was that. One month after we were engaged, he said something that really hurt me, and I told him I didn’t tell the truth about my number. I told him the real number, which, to some people, would not be a big deal.
Ever since, I’ve been paying for it. He constantly questions me about everything. He believes I’m cheating every day. At times he’s told me he doesn’t trust me, but lacks reasons to back it up.
I’m not a cheating type, and I’ve never once cheated on him. Everywhere we go, he acts like I’ve slept with half the room. I’m constantly having to prove that I’m faithful, and I don’t think it’s fair. How does a number match up with being a cheater anyway?
I’m tired, and we just got married. I feel if he felt so strongly about it, he should never have married me. I just want a normal life. What should I do?
Sabrina

Sabrina,
In the part of Wisconsin Tamara is from, a common expression is: “It’s a horse apiece.” That saying comes from a bar-room dice game in which a losing player is said to have a horse on him. A second player who loses also has a horse on him. When that happens, the two players are on equal footing. Hence, it’s a horse apiece.
Perhaps your husband has second thoughts about the marriage. Perhaps he concealed his true feelings about your number, and is insecure about his own. Perhaps he doesn’t believe the accusations, but simply uses them to control you. It doesn’t matter what his motivation is, it’s a horse apiece.
You can’t go along with this. He is emotionally assaulting you. If he repeats the accusations to others, he slanders you as well. If you ignore or try to defend yourself, you are playing into his hands. Draw a line in the sand. “If you say this one more time, I will consider divorce. It isn’t true, and I’ve had enough.”
Scales are used to measure things. What he says is a measure of how much he doesn’t love you. On the one hand, he calls you a liar, slut and cheater. On the other, the right man would love you, trust you and die for you. Put your husband’s actions on that scale, and let it determine your course of action.