DEAR FRIENDS,
Are you like me, surrounded by older women, absorbing their teachings? These lovely women do best what other mothers and grandmothers taught them. They are experts at taking care of the people in their lives. Following their example, I used to make others my Number One priority. Then one day, this changed.

In the late nineties, I asked a friend to list his priorities. His reply surprised me. “Health first. Then people, then money.”

“But the people we love should be first on the list,” I protested.

“No,” he said. “If you don’t have good health, you will never be able to take care of those you love. You cannot work, you cannot earn. If you’re sick all the time, you will have to depend on others to look after you!”

I realised then how right he was. He was not saying that by loving ourselves, we’re being selfish. He was not saying that we must never take care of loved ones, that we shouldn’t cook tasty meals for them, that we must not clean the house or make a cup of tea for a tired spouse or parent.

He was saying that, by putting our health first – by eating properly, sleeping, relaxing and exercising – we would have the energy to do and be all the things we want to do and be – for ourselves and for others.

Some men would disagree; they want to be first on the list. Ladies, what do you think? Send your thoughts to the Chronicle or email savannahwomenscircle@gmail.com.

Savannah
CRAFTY LADY.
Transfer your embroidery pattern on to fabric.
Ideas for embroidery patterns are everywhere – on table cloths, towels, lace curtains, in children’s colouring books. Anything can be traced, transferred and embroidered. Follow the instructions on how to trace – see last week’s Women’s Circle – and create your own patterns.

Now that you have your pattern, transfer it to the material you want to embroider.

You need: 3 or 4 tack pins; a pencil; dressmaker’s carbon (check Phagoo’s Store in Regent Street); if none is available, use regular blue carbon paper, but dressmaker’s carbon is much better – it comes in different colours and it doesn’t smudge.

Decide where on your fabric you want the design. Place your carbon sheet there – the coloured side must lie on the fabric. If you use regular blue carbon paper, don’t move it about on the fabric or it will smudge.

Next, put your design, drawing side up, on the carbon paper.

This is what you should have now – your design with the drawing side up; the carbon with the coloured side on the fabric; your fabric. Pin these three together.

With your pencil, lightly draw on your pattern. When you are done, remove pins, pattern and carbon paper. Your drawing is now on the fabric…it should be clean – no thick, heavy marks, no smudges.
Next week: a simple embroidery stitch…

EARTH WOMAN
Your beautiful mind (continued from last week).
Are you feeling down in the dumps? Get outdoors. Health experts recommend this. And, according to a study done last year by the Rochester University in the US, being around nature makes us better people.

But, you might argue, your area is too dirty. Well then, make it beautiful for your sake, for your children’s sake!

Try these inexpensive tips. (See last week’s page for more ideas).

Keep those old tubs and buckets. Group them together under trees, near your gate posts; plant bright flowers in them – marigold, zinnias, and bachelors’ button.

Look around…everything that we normally throw away can be used as plant pots – milk boxes, big bleach bottles, tin cans. In a women’s magazine, I’ve even seen people planting flowers in old shoes.

Can’t move that tree trunk that has been lying on the ground for some time? Leave it there – dig holes in it, fill with dirt and plant fern, ivy and flowers.

Is your fence falling down, in need of paint, and you can’t afford to fix it? Make a hedging with Suriname cherry trees. Plant them in a row, in front of your fence. Do not trim the bottom branches – this will make the trees grow tall. Trim the top and front branches; keep the trees at the height of the fence. You will get a green “wall” that bears fruits.
Have fun digging your way out of the dumps – brighten your days with nature.

HOW TO…
…Be a role model (continued from last week).
There is a song that describes how children learn – if they live with criticism, hostility, fear, pity, ridicule, jealousy, envy, shame, they learn negative behaviour.

On the other hand, if they live with encouragement, tolerance, praise, appreciation, acceptance, approval, recognition, sharing, honesty, fairness, kindness, respect, security, and friendliness, they learn confidence, love, respect, generosity, patience, and more.

What were you taught? What would you like to share as you journey through life? If you’d like to be a role model, a mentor to a younger person, here are some tips.

Mind your manners. How can a young person learn to be polite if he or she faces rude adults daily? Speak to your young friend with respect, the way you’d like him or her to speak to you.

Have fun together. Share a hobby. Watch movies. Go for walks. These activities pave the way for heart-warming conversation
s. Just as good food nourishes the body, sharing fun nourishes the mind, building emotional strength.

Be the example. You don’t have to be a shoulder to cry on or a person who listens to problems. Simply living the right way can make you a quiet mentor. Some of my favourite role models are mothers who share music, conversations and travel experiences with me.

BEAUTIFUL YOU…INSIDE & OUT
Confidence (continued from last week): Ugly behaviour.
What you believe is confident behaviour might very well not be. Think of the people around you.

There is that uncle, the professional who wears a suit to work and drives an expensive jeep. Everyone says he is successful. If he walks into a shop and doesn’t get the service he wants, he abuses the sales girls. People are afraid of him. Is he confident?

How about Mrs. X with the wealthy husband? At parties, she sits in a corner and makes jokes about other women. The way she talks to her friends, the way she dresses and manages her home makes her seem super-confident. But is she really?

And what about that friend who doesn’t go to any trouble to find a job? She seems happy enough to let others take care of her. You think she’s carefree and relaxed, living one day at a time.

But the truth is, people who behave like that uncle, like Mrs. X or your friend can be hiding a great deal of insecurity. The uncle feels small inside; when he abuses, he attracts attention and this makes him feel big. Mrs. X uses mean jokes to put down other women; this way, she can fool herself that she is superior. And the friend who is happy to let others take care of her? She might be hiding a deep fear of taking care of herself.

Are you hiding fears? Or are you confident?
Follow me next week to learn more…
Enjoy the rest of your week, ladies. Be good to you, take care of you.