By Jasmaine Payne

IN two weeks’ time, Petal will celebrate her 90th birthday. At this age, there is not much that tickles her fancy; she has seen it all and done it all, and she feels her life is complete. In another two days, Valentine’s Day will most likely find her doing the same thing she does every day: Sitting at her window, knitting or otherwise reading a book.
Her husband has been dead 20 years now, so there’s not much to do in the area of romance.
Yet, Petal remembers when Valentine’s Day meant something. Back in those days, in her native Linden, times were significantly simpler. Valentine’s Day meant a chance for the men to go all out to impress their women by showering them with gifts to symbolise their love. “We would receive a single rose sometimes. Other times, if money was there, we could get a nice little bouquet,” Petal said.

HIGHLY ANTICIPATED
In those days, Valentine’s Day was also highly anticipated, due to the extravagant village dances that would be held at neighbouring sports grounds or community centres. In that regard, it was also a time for the women to ‘dress to the nines’.
“If you didn’t have money, your fellow would buy the cloth and give you, so that you could get a dress sewn,” Petal said, because, apparently, showing up at the dance with the prettiest dress and a handsome man on your arm was the climax of the day’s proceedings.
For some women, their choice in men was not always favourable in the eyes of their parents, so lots of sneaking around would occur as well. Petal recalls having a boyfriend that her parents just couldn’t stand; and while sneaking around was a constant task, Valentine’s Day was extra difficult to pull off.
“They knew that he would want to take me out on that day, so they used to do everything in their power to keep me home. So, what I would do some years, I would have my female friend come to pick me up, then when we leave the house, we would walk down the hill, and he would be right there waiting for me,” Petal said.
She chuckled at the thought of her little shenanigans, and perhaps a little bit at the irony of it all, because the same man from whom her parents tried to deprive her, was the very same man who became her husband for 46 years.

BITTER TEARS
But, for some, Valentine’s Day also had a dark side too. “Valentine’s Day and Old Year’s Night were two nights when women knew the ‘real’ status of the relationship they were in,” said Linda.
As a child, she remembers seeing many a women shed bitter tears, waiting in vain for a Valentine’s date that never showed up. “Those were the days when men would ride bicycles. Some men in the higher classes would have an old motorbike; if you were lucky. But imagine getting stood up by a man on a bicycle! How rude!” Linda recalled.

NEW-AGE REALITY
Now, fast-forward to 2016, the age of dynamism and freedom of expression. Much has changed in the area of Valentine’s Day. Though the theme of love still echoes faintly in the distance of things, commercialism has hijacked the February 14 occasion, and instead highlights the flashier, more exciting side of things.
Restaurants will all adjust their menus, offering paired lovers competitive dining packages; boutiques will change their colour scheme to mirror the red-and-white theme of love and romance; and Hallmark will make a fortune as card stores dedicate shelves and shelves to quirky, romantic and even dirty cards, all aimed at Cupid’s special holiday.

THEMED PARTIES
The traditional “dance” has long been replaced by themed parties and bar events with ironic names like “Cupid’s Chokehold” and “Rescued Rabbit”. Meanwhile, simple gifts have made way for extravagant gestures like oversized fresh or even edible bouquets, and expensive jewellery. For the millennials, the expression of love now holds significance in worth and exorbitant gestures.
On the other hand, with the feminist and LGBT movements in full swing these days, the meaning of Valentine’s Day has also shifted. For the former, women have stepped out of the position of “waiting to be pampered” and “feeling left out if they are not”, to “valuing yourself, with or without the presence of a significant other”.
The prominence of both groups have also now diminished the socially constructed ideals of the roles of men and women, taking much responsibility (and dare I say pressure) off of men as being “the givers”, and bringing forth a sense of equality in relationships for both partners to share in the gift-giving and expression of love.

NEW ‘TUDE’
With the new age, also, came a new attitude of cynicism: Large groups of people have begun to reject the notion of Valentine’s Day, as they believe that it is hilarious to place all this effort and pressure on lovers to “prove their love” on this one day.
As such, many of these persons have begun to plug their efforts into “Anti-Valentine’s Day” practices, such as wearing any colour but red, and going so far as to throw parties celebrating “singledom”.
Though such practices are mostly seen in Western cultures, anti-V-Day parties have been held on a smaller scale in Guyana in the past.
Regardless of the generation to which we belong, one thing is clear: The day still holds significant merit in the lives of lovers and non-lovers alike, since its rumoured beginnings in the 5th Century.
And though the true meaning of Valentine’s Day is shrouded in mystery (from the namesake Saints that were rumoured to have been martyred for love, to Pagan rituals, to the Roman God, Cupid), many people still place much effort into observing this day.
Either way, it is certainly amusing to get an insight into how things have transformed over the years.
Above all, however, no matter your relationship status this V-Day, it is most important to remember the theme of Love; be it love for your partner, your family or yourself. That way, regardless of its history, or transformation, love — the most precious of things in life — will forever be at the heart of it all.