I NEVER accessed any type of alcohol even if the beverage contained even 0.9 per cent of alcohol. At  Leonard Craig’s wedding, Adam Lynch offered me a shandy which I refused because it had alcohol.

Adam shouted to the gathering: “Freddie you ever drank cough syrup? Well, it contains alcohol.” I didn’t know that and not all cough syrups contains alcohol.

Last Friday, I finally had alcohol which I never ever touched in my entire life, and I am in my 70s. Banks DIH is the reason for this departure in my life.

I will describe below the context, and you are not going to believe what is printed here in this column. I decided to publish this story out of concern for my country and to inform Guyanese of the things that take place in their country. I have been doing that for more than 38 years in all the major newspapers and I do not see the point in stopping.

So here we go. My wife’s favourite ice cream flavour is rum and raisin. I don’t have a favourite, but rum and raisin I will never use.  I have bought different makes of rum and raisin for her but throughout the years, I never purchased the Banks DIH version.  Friday, I examined three types of rum and raisin in the supermarket. One was from the Fernandes company of Suriname. I bought that often for her just like I bought the one from Trinidad under the label “Creamery.” The rum and raisin type I normally buy for her is from Sterling Ltd because it is a Guyanese company. I will never leave a Guyanese company for any foreign one. The day I do that is the day I die.

There was no rum and raisin from Sterling. What I am about to write may give you apoplexy as it almost did the three pharmacists in Massy’s Supermarket. It certainly gave me apoplexy which I am currently recovering from. So, there was a one-litre box from Fernandes, a one-litre box from Creamery and a one-pint box from Banks DIH.

I have been buying rum and raisin ice cream for my wife for years now, but never saw the Banks DIH version. I took all three boxes to the Massy pharmacy to ascertain the price. Now before I proceed, please note that a one-litre box is equivalent to two pints. Here is the price difference – Fernandes – 1 litre is $1, 600, Creamery is $1,400 and Banks DIH’s one pint is $1,900.

How is that possible? From Fernandes you pay $300 less and the amount is double what Banks DIH is offering. From Creamery, you pay $500 less and the amount is double what Banks DIH has. I repeat; for a one-pint box of rum and raisin from Banks DIH the cost is $1900.

I was driven by piercing, agonising curiosity. What is in that Banks DIH box that makes it so absurdly expensive?  At the same time, I was deflated. I wanted to buy the Banks DIH version because it is local and I am a buy-local fanatic.

Here is what I did. Driven by overflowing curiosity, I bought all three just to discover the superior difference in the Banks DIH version. It was my first taste of rum, and I was doing it while in my 70s. There wasn’t any difference. I may not be a good academic. I may not be a good media practitioner. I may not be a good social activist, but I am a damn good judge of ice-cream. I am competent when it comes to judging the essence of chocolate, fudge, sugar cake and ice-cream.

I did not see any difference with the rum and raisin ice cream of Banks DIH, Fernandes, Creamery and Sterling. But here is what happened: my spoon struck something hard at the bottom of the box of the Banks DIH ice cream. I dug further and discovered two small gold nuggets. The next day, I took it  to my jeweller who said it was genuine gold and gave me $5,000 for the pair. So, there you have it – the reason for the exorbitant price for a mere pint of rum and raisin ice-cream.

Of course, readers would know I am being satirical about the gold nuggets. It is just my way of being cynical about that high price. But on a serious note, how do you explain this price difference and for half the amount? I am sad about this because I bought the foreign ice-cream. Surely, local producers have to be more competitive.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in this column are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the Guyana National Newspapers Limited.