FATHER-DAUGHTER relationships are an important part of a girl’s journey from child to adulthood. A father can play a vital, meaningful role in his daughter’s development, her sense of security and well-being. Many fathers do not realise that the rapport they build with their daughters, if it is caring and encouraging, can make a positive impact in her life.
The relationship between father and daughter is the first male connection that a girl will have; therefore, if her father sets good examples and is a good role model, his daughter will no doubt bear these characteristics in mind when she is choosing a partner in the future.

Girls need their fathers to be wholly involved in their lives and not just there in the background to either discipline them or ‘spoil’ them. Fathers should be attentive to whatsoever ‘interests’ their daughters may have and help them to progress in that area: be it sport, or a hobby, art or music. They can encourage their daughters by providing materials or supplies and by researching and discussing information to enhance their daughters’ knowledge and ability in their chosen area. By sincerely playing an active role, fathers will boost their daughters’ self-esteem.

Girls need to see their parents sharing a healthy relationship (even if their parents are separated). Fathers should always respect the mothers of their children and vice versa. Gestures of care, consideration and affection between mother and father can help a girl-child feel secure and loved. When a girl witnesses physical or emotional abuse in her parents’ relationship, she may believe this to be the norm and accept the same in her adult relationship(s). So fathers beware: your actions, deeds and words are being evaluated, analysed and could make a big difference to the type of decisions your daughters will make in the future.

When fathers develop an open relationship with their daughters from the start, girls are able to ask their fathers’ advice; they can speak openly to their father about anything –even boys. Fathers should listen to their daughters’ opinions and ideas, without shouting or interjecting. They can guide their daughters by asking questions and by helping them to form their own sensible solutions. By keeping an open mind, level head and calm demeanour, daughters will recognise and share a mutual respect with their fathers, which should last a lifetime.

Too many men believe that being a father means you have to be stern and insensitive, unaffectionate and devoid of emotion. But fathers should be approachable, lovable, understanding and fun. They should enforce discipline and boundaries, together with their partners, within reason: but not to the extent where their daughters fear them or find it necessary to hide information from them.

A father can build his daughter’s confidence by loving her unconditionally. Unconditional love means not talking down to your daughter or admonishing her (if or when she does something bad); so that she feels like a failure or she needs to hang her head in shame.
Children make mistakes and they are known to do senseless things, it is all a part of growing up. A few choice words from father to daughter should be enough to let her know that she needs to do better; or she should know better and to clarify what is expected of her in the future.

Fathers can make their daughters feel beautiful by highlighting the positive and caring traits in their daughters’ nature: Show them the beauty they possess on the inside; girls do not have to live up to anyone else’s concept of beauty but their own; so teach them to be themselves and to love themselves–as they are loved by their parents.

When daughters are doing well fathers should commend them, especially when they are sharing or/and being thoughtful of others. Being fair, honest and tidy, considerate and productive are beautiful characteristics for a father to teach and instill in his daughter.
Holistically, a father’s role is just as important as a mother’s and has equal influence on a girlchild. Their presence when positive and effective can produce a confident and self-assured young woman. If you are a father, how seriously do you take your role? Can you see areas where you can make improvements to enrich your daughter’s childhood experiences? The time to make necessary changes is now for positive outcomes in the future.

If you are concerned about the welfare of a child you can ring the CPA hotline on 227 0979 or email: childcaregy@gmail.com

A MESSAGE FROM THE CHILDCARE AND PROTECTION AGENCY, MINISTRY OF SOCIAL PROTECTION