I HAVE a question about ending a friendship. I would like to feel I did what I had to do; that I was not just being too sensitive. The woman in question was a friend of mine for some eight years. We shared a passionate love of horses; it was our common interest. In addition, during our friendship, we both had troublesome relationships and helped each other through the worst times.

Some months ago, however, I had photos taken of my horse and I. When I showed them to my friend, she accused me of being vain, and basically said my horse was ugly. I stopped talking to her. I was horribly hurt. After several months, I made contact and slowly we resurrected our friendship.

Well, just this week, I bought a new horse; a one-year-old Arabian. He is not the most expensive or impressive of his breed, but he is undeniably beautiful. When I showed his photos to my friend, she immediately criticised his appearance and asked if he was even purebred. I said, ‘Of course! I have paperwork to prove it!’

My friend was openly hostile; she ended an e-mail saying my new horse was ugly. She said she did not want to have to say that; that she was initially being polite for the sake of our friendship, but I “forced” her to say it. Her final word was an angry acknowledgment that she is not allowed to use the word “ugly.”

When I read that, it seemed to me she is more interested in being right than in keeping me as a friend and saying a real sorry. This is all the more hurtful, considering she made it sound like she was the victim.

Maggie