— Navigating through dysfunction in our culture
IN Sociology, the family is the most important social unit of society. It is the core unit that is responsible for our socialisation and necessities. In Guyana, the family is seen as sacred. It is often emphasised that family is the root of our culture. From being our literal brother’s keepers to honouring our parents, the family is meant to be our most important support system in challenging times. Unfortunately for many, this ideology is not the case. For many in Guyana, the family is less of a core unit for providing support and needs, and more of a source of trauma and pain.
There is a common belief among Guyanese that what happens in the home should remain private. I believe that ideology should not be taken into consideration when basic human rights are being violated daily in a household. From verbal or physical abuse, neglect, blackmail, coercion, harassment, humiliation, to manipulation — people are being violated daily inside their own homes at the hands of their own “blood”.
Unfortunately, their trauma does not stem from other people, oppressive systems or indirect encounters — it comes from the ones they call family or the ones they love most.
Where there are abuse dynamics between children and parents, this is often seen as “normal” in most Guyanese households. Unfortunately, our culture “protects” parents by associating disobedience as one of the “deadly sins” while also associating violence as “discipline”. Unfortunately, children cannot speak up in certain households, and if they do, they face consequences. Now, don’t get me wrong, children should be taught right from wrong — but we can do so without a “tamarind whip” involved. Emotional safety, free from trauma or abuse, is a basic human right, not a privilege or gift. It needs to be respected and recognised, even in children. This mindset in households will only lead to these children becoming adults who are socially awkward, isolated and fearful of speaking up for their rights.
The emotional or physical distress in households can ultimately lead to long-term mental health challenges such as low self-esteem, chronic anxiety and depression. Many children in Guyana today suffer in silence for fear of being “disobedient”, and ultimately, these children become adults who are traumatised. This, in return, can affect their adult relationships, with many not being able to recognise what a healthy, safe relationship or environment is. As such, it only continues the cycle of abuse as they get older, only in different forms.
If you’re a young Guyanese faced with such a crisis, I urge you to protect your peace. You can start by taking control of a specific space, such as your bedroom, or finding healthy coping mechanisms, like journaling, to channel your energy or thoughts into. I also suggest you start therapy with a professional, because sometimes, there is so much deep-rooted trauma that we may not be aware of, even though it affects our daily lives without us knowing. These violations might be seen as “normal” or a recipe of “success” for previous generations, but if you feel violated, harmed or traumatised, it is completely wrong. It is time we start recognising these harmful practices in our culture and stop making excuses; instead, we should collectively work on solutions to eradicate such a mindset. We need to start opening up more safe spaces for young people to visit to share their hurt and stories — from schools, churches and social groups.
All Guyanese are protected by the Family Violence Act of 2024. If you or someone you know is being abused in any form, I urge you to report it to the nearest police station. The abuse that your family generates is still abuse at the end of the day. “Family” is not always a safe space for people to be in or a part of, and the minute we recognise that it can also be a space for the most traumatising, deep and open-ended emotional wounds — that’s the minute we start moving forward as Guyanese.