Every human being is as unique as a star in the sky. We each perceive the universe differently and express ourselves in our manner. Nevertheless, human beings are, of course, social in nature. Even those who prefer spending time by themselves cannot survive for extended periods without social interaction. The very manner in which we speak, think, or even smile is influenced by our society. Whether we realise it or not, our most natural instinct is to conform with those around us, even if it means that we must occasionally hide parts of ourselves or wear masks that do not represent who we are.

When we are young, this need to conform is heightened. We may be more susceptible to peer pressure or the need to fit in as we have not yet defined ourselves and fully understood the idea of self-identity. As we grow up, however, we slowly learn to find a balance between fitting into societal standards while also expressing our identity freely. We no longer wear masks but instead choose to present different versions of ourselves in different situations. It is almost as if we strike a compromise with the world around us in order to ensure that we have our own place in it. This balance and the nature of self-expression can vary greatly from one person to another, and this leads to the formation of individual preferences, comfort zones, and personal boundaries.

Another very significant part of growing up involves the process of coming out of those comfort zones whenever necessary. This allows us to gain new experiences while also helping us to expand our worldview. Although it is quite necessary to ensure that we do not become stagnant, this process can become difficult and disconcerting. Stepping out of our comfort zones can be as simple as trying a new food, or it can be a choice as difficult as moving to a different city in search of new opportunities. It involves an intentional choice of giving up the comfort of familiarity to induce growth or, at the very least, help us learn something new.

However, the idea of stepping out of one’s comfort zone can quickly become misunderstood and instead be used to justify or encourage the relinquishment of personal boundaries. As such, while we learn to step out of our comfort zones to explore the world, we must also learn to identify the situations where we can refuse to cross our boundaries or let anyone else do so. In essence, we must learn to identify the difference between breaking limitations to evolve and surrendering our boundaries to pressure.

In fact, recently, I discovered that even animals have comfort zones! They have multiple psychological zones demarcated by different distances around them. If a person or other animal were to venture past their comfort zone or push into their flight or fight zones, they may very rarely tolerate the intrusion. Unless the animal is familiar with the person who is approaching it, or it is trained, it may not respond kindly. An unwelcome intruder may be met with an attack or a warning, although an animal will first try to run away.

The fact that even animals have comfort zones shows that similar boundaries that an individual establishes are not just preferences but a part of who an individual is. It defines how safe and peaceful someone can feel. Boundaries are not meant to be changed or bent unless it is done by the person who has set them.

There is strength in saying ‘no’. There is power in standing up for ourselves, even in situations that are often regarded as trivial. The formation of our identities and the process of learning to express ourselves is a feat that may have taken a significant portion of our youth. Thus, if we are choosing to sacrifice these things, even temporarily, it must certainly be for a worthy cause. Our identity and our preferences have inherent value to them. So, if we do choose to lower our boundaries and step out of our comfort zones, it must be a decision that is made for ourselves and not to appease those around us.