An excerpt from my book of the same title.
BUILDING SUSTAINABLE FRIENDSHIPS

Introduction
IT can be challenging to make and maintain new friendships. Yet, friends are essential for our mental and emotional health. They provide care and support and can strengthen us when we’re feeling down. Friendships challenge us, teaching us to consider the needs of others and to respect boundaries.
When we learn the secrets of building lasting friendships, we will lead better, more fulfilling lives.

1. Families
Everyone has a family, or at least had a family at some point. Families are often there for individuals when support is needed. However, not everyone may be comfortable talking about their families. The successes and challenges within a family shape the way an individual approaches friendships.

1.1 No Family is Perfect
When some people look at certain families from the outside and observe how they operate, they assume that these families are perfect. However, no family is perfect.
Some families are great pretenders in public. Others know how to keep their family problems private. Too many emotional individuals feel the need to share their family issues with the public, seeking either celebration or empathy. However, not everyone will celebrate or empathise with you. The key is to work with your family, learn from them, and become a positive example to others.

1.2 Failure Provides Great Lessons
Within each family, there are failures. However, failures provide valuable lessons for those willing to adapt. Some family members have been treated poorly due to family failures, yet they have learned to respect others and help them grow.

Through first-hand failures, individuals realise the importance of finding friends who will appreciate them for who they are.

1.3 Success Provides Great Lessons
Experiencing success often encourages family members to share their achievements with others.
Many people aspire to succeed in their families so they can celebrate life.
In families facing continuous struggles, individuals may feel overwhelmed by failure.

2. Friends
Besides having families, individuals also need friends in their lives.
Each family has its limitations, and friends can help fill these gaps.
Some individuals enjoy their friendships so much that they do not recognise how much they are missing their families.
The bond established with certain friends may even be stronger than the bond with family members.
Learning to connect with many people is essential because friendships can become critical for future success.

2.1 Family Friends
Some individuals become so close to a family that they are considered “family friends”.
These family friends may have the same privileges as actual family members.

For example:
Some family friends can borrow family vehicles.
Children in rural communities attending school in urban areas may be allowed to stay with family friends during the week and return home at weekends.
Family friends may stay over at the family home when needed.
When families travel overseas, they often return with gifts for their family friends.
People tend to keep their closest family friends, as they trust them and value their support.

2.2 Old-Time Friends
While not everyone may have family friends, many have old-time friends.
Some friendships last for decades, with individuals saying, “We have come a long way.”

Many old-time friendships began when individuals were:
Living in the same community.
Attending the same school.
Working in the same organisation.
Even after retirement, old-time friends may arrange visits, as they value each other and want to maintain their bond.

In some cultures:
Brides and grooms visit their old-time friends’ homes before their wedding ceremonies.
Before purchasing a vehicle or home, people consult their old-time friends for advice.
When considering a potential life partner, individuals seek their old-time friends’ opinions.

2.3 Fun Friends
Some people love entertainment, so they develop friendships based on shared interests.
Fun friends may:
Provide security at events.
Engage in lively discussions.

Offer transportation for those without vehicles.
Pool money together for expenses, such as fuel costs when travelling.
Whenever there are social events, these fun friends are often seen together.
They trust each other and share many personal experiences.

Conclusion
Friendships play a significant role in our lives, just as families do.
Some friendships develop within families, while others form in communities, workplaces, or social circles.

The key to sustaining strong friendships is:
Recognising the value of relationships.
Being trustworthy.
Providing support in times of need.
Building sustainable friendships ensures that individuals experience a richer, more fulfilling life.

For more information about Geary Reid and his books, please use the following contact details:
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