By Vanessa Cort

IN my last article, I dealt with the police and their sometimes casual attitude towards victims of domestic and gender-based violence.
Today, I would like to address the victims – both former and present. For as those who have suffered or are suffering domestic abuse, you must learn what measures you can take to either end an abusive relationship or safeguard yourself once it is over.

Statistics show that, worldwide, there are still too many cases of domestic violence – affecting one in three women. Too many women are still remaining with violent partners or leaving and returning to the relationship.  There is a legion more who are reluctant to even report abuse, though family, friends and neighbours may know.

What those of you who remain in abusive relationships need to know is that you can and should get out. The decision is never easy, especially if children are involved. But children are exposed to greater harm when they witness their mother being constantly physically assaulted by her husband or intimate partner.

As Melinda Smith and Jeanne Segal, two experts on the subject, write, “You deserve to be treated with respect…You deserve a safe and happy life…Your children deserve a safe and happy life”.
There exists in this country a very powerful Domestic Violence Act, which not only seeks to protect victims, but ensure that they are not displaced from their homes – the abuser has to leave even if he owns the property or is renting (Occupancy and Tenancy Orders). The Act also has a Protection Order which is designed, among other things, to ensure that your abuser does not come within a certain distance of you.

However, you should first make a report to a police station, where you can request to see and read a copy of the Act or have the relevant sections explained to you by a police officer.
If a copy is not available at the station then you should visit the magistrate’s court, where you can speak to the clerk and apply for one or more of the Orders.

Meanwhile, former victims should take measures to safeguard themselves. Try, at least initially, not to go out on your own – not even to the corner shop. Be aware of your surroundings – where someone may hide or whether you are being stalked – and never agree to meet your former abuser under any circumstances. If a meeting is necessary, let it be at the police station in the presence of officers.

To avoid cyberbullying, block all cell phone contact and report any incidents that may occur. If you have a landline telephone then hang up the phone when your abuser calls. Do not enter into any conversation with that person no matter how much they plead- as many do.

As we say in local talk, ‘Ya gaffa mek ya mind hard’ and as another saying goes, ‘ You have to stick to your guns’. Too many of us give in to pleas and promises and as the police complain, ‘ Dey does come back an beg fuh de man…de man does sweet talk dem an de nex ting ya know dey drop de charges!’

The Office on Violence Against Women (OVW), within the US Department of Justice points out, “Domestic violence not only affects those who are abused, but also has a substantial effect on family members, friends, co-workers, other witnesses and the community at large”.

They also speak of its devastating effect on children – my next article.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in this column are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the Guyana National Newspapers Limited.