WHILE chatting with the principal of a private school last week, I learned of an alarming observation she made in recent years.
While interacting with female students in the classroom she discovered that some of them had scars on the inside of their arms, beginning at the wrist.

The marks were not random but in straight lines. When questioned about this, some of the girls attempted to hide the marks, while others pretended that they were accidental.
It was clear to the principal, however, that these were scars left by a sharp implement cutting into the skin. The girls were deliberately harming themselves.
A close family member, visiting from the UK had the same markings and when confronted, admitted she had been cutting herself.

She declared it was nothing serious, but a trend among teenage girls. When admonished for the practice, she solemnly promised to stop. She did not. The family later found out that she simply resorted to cutting parts of her body not generally visible – her inner thighs.
I was horrified. The idea of someone cutting into their flesh made my skin ‘grow’. But it also took me back decades, as I remembered how one of my school friends, in the UK, would cut her wrists whenever she and her boyfriend were on the verge of separating.

She used a razor blade, making one cut, which seemed to point to a suicide attempt, though the cut was never deep enough to be life-threatening.
The result of her action would be her boyfriend’s decision not to break up with her and meetings behind closed doors with her parents and teachers.
We, her friends, felt that she never intended to take her own life, but was cutting herself as a form of emotional blackmail.

The result was always the same. Her boyfriend would stay in the relationship, though he was clearly unhappy. So, in her mind her strategy worked.
Now I realise that what this girl was doing was a form of self-harm and an indication of deep emotional distress. I have also learned that people who self-harm are at an increased risk of attempting suicide
The Australian parenting website, operated by the Raising Children Network says, “Self-harm is when people deliberately hurt themselves as a way of coping with strong emotions. It’s a way of trying to get control over feelings or relief from them.” It is a sign that a person is in “deep distress.”

Teens often try to hide the scars because of shame and embarrassment, worrying that parents, in particular, will be angry with them, not understanding their drastic actions.
Self-harming does not always involve cutting. Some may bite, bruise or hit themselves, pull their hair or even pick at scabs so they do not heal.

More alarming still is that self-harm can become compulsive and discovery, instead of stopping the practice, can lead adolescents to inflict harm on parts of the body which are usually covered.

The signs to watch for are many and varied, both behavioural and emotional. These include children regularly wearing clothing that covers the arms and legs, loss of interest in favoured activities, big mood changes, irritability and temper outbursts.

“If you find your child is self- harming, it’s natural for you to feel afraid, guilty, shocked, panicked or even angry”, the Raising Children Network says. But they advise parents to remain calm, respectful and reassuring, not judging or responding negatively.

Parents are urged to “actively listen” to their children letting them know that “…strong feelings are normal – but they’re also hard to have. And when you’re in your teens, things can seem even harder.”

The US Crisis Text Line warns, “Many people interpret self-harm as a way of ‘acting out’ or ‘looking for attention’. However, it’s important that we don’t stereotype – pain does not discriminate and people of all ages and backgrounds can be at risk for self-harm.”

If self-harm continues, parents may need to seek professional advice or contact a Crisis Hotline. In Guyana, the Hotline number is 914. It is toll-free and available 24/7.