By Vanessa Cort

SHORTLY after my last article on Men’s Mental Health appeared, a dear friend in the US sent me the link to a song which has been trending on social media since Father’s Day last Sunday.
Though released a year ago, “To be a Man” by singer/songwriter, Dax, has been taking YouTube by storm, just as videos on men’s mental health went viral on TikTok for Father’s Day.

Both male and female singers collaborated with Dax to make a mix, then a mega remix of the song, expressing their views on manhood and how men are perceived, with devastatingly raw and emotive lyrics.
Some of the women who posted comments talked of reaching out to their husbands or male  companions,  while others confessed that the song gave them insights they never had before about how men feel and were moved to tears.
One innovative young female artist drew and painted the faces of a man and a woman on either side of her face, making it appear as if they were singing as she sang.

It is heartening in this Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month to see folks gaining greater understanding of the struggles men face and the need for society to take note and reach out to our men.
It is also important for men themselves to recognise that they need to establish bonds which will allow them to confide in others when they feel distressed, while we as women must be willing to listen and encourage men to talk about their feelings.
So many of us are guilty of making men feel, as Dax sings, “It’s not ’bout how you feel, but what you provide inside that home.”
We should heed his lilting plea. “I can’t hide myself, I don’t expect you to understand. I just hope I can explain what it’s like to be a man.”
And no one can help but be moved by the comments of one man who said. “Former marine, single dad to my son since he was two, now 11. I’ve isolated myself from friends and family for no reason it seems. My son is the only reason why I’m alive. Depression with loneliness is my devil! I sat alone and listened to these words over and over again.

I don’t think I’ve ever cried this hard. Knowing that I’m not alone, and that other men feel this pain will help me seek help. I don’t write reviews nor do I comment on videos, so to take the courage to express a little bit about myself and my pain shows just how impactful this song is. Thank you! You saved me”.
The raw emotion seeping through these words is palpable. What the writer did not say, but I will, is that all men and women should listen to this song.
I would hope too that a bunch of local talents get together and record their own mix of this song, and I will help to make it happen.
My contribution would be this:
They say you never know another person’s journey till you walk in their shoes,
Never feel the pain and all of the blues,
But when you walk beside them as a woman next to a man,
Then it’s your duty to do all that you can,
To understand the pressures he faces every day,
Though he may not be able to say,
‘I feel anxious, alone, depressed,
I am overwhelmed and stressed,
I just want you to see,
What it’s like to be me,
I really want you to understand,
What it’s like to be a man’.